Love?

Lately I've become overwhelmed with that 'excited' feeling whenever I think of someone... Why? I've told myself that even if I were to get together with somebody it would be in my own area code... Why do I feel so... In love? Is that the proper way to express it? I feel kind of embarrassed even talking about this subject because as most of my 'hometown' friends know, I'm very reserved and quiet. This person though... They have this thing about them that I cannot even express... I feel kind of envious that I even let them go.

What's sad is that this person lives on the otherside of the country, and that's why it couldn't...Wouldn't work. Could I just have been wrong... Did I give up something so true that I was too blind to even see it? I feel like I've lost something... How could I have let myself go like that? It's impossible to be in 'love' with someone so far away, but I think it can happen...

This person gave me a call for the first time about 2 weeks ago. It was pretty cool, to hear what they really sound like in real life. They admitted that I didn't sound like they 'thought' I would. I really do like it when they talk, it's pretty amazing... Although I know that I can't get 'involved' with this person because they are already with someone else... They deserve that person to love them. I obviously didn't because I was so oblivious and everything.

It's good though because we'd never really been 'involved' it was more like an internet thing, but I feel like I know them so well that it's so hard to explain. I was an idiot... STUPID ME! God, now I'm listening to these songs that explain everything and make it all so crystal clear... I gave up a chance, and now I'm too late... The 2 main songs that explain this to me that well are "Alone" by Avril Lavigne (I'm the one she's singing about), and "what hurts the most" Cascada's version (She's expressing how I feel)...

Talk about stupid of me... Sigh, I guess there's really nothing I can say or even do... I guess I should probably just let it go.... :(

Cascada's "What Hurts The Most":