So much to do!!!

Wow, so finals are next week so that means that this quarter is almost done. The Winter Quarter has so far, in my opinion, been the best quarter. My grades are good, and I love it! I've also really taken to studying so that explains my grades as the previous quarters studying wasn't something I did. I thought that my learning style was "Visual" but after reading about "Auditory" that makes sense. They say that auditory learners learn best when there is sound while one is studying. When I was doing my math and had friends here, they were talking and I was blowing through my math and totally understood it. That also explains when I studied psychology (On the test I got an 85) it was because I was listening to music while reading!

Well anyway, in Psychology we're covering chapters nine and ten on human development and so far it's the most difficult and the longest. We have to memorize all of the theories because we were told that there just isn't enough time to break it all down. I think I can do it, especially if I really study.

Oh, speaking about Psychology I got my essay back and I got extra credit on it. She wrote really nice comments on it and everything so I think she really liked my paper. I also feel very proud of it; as it put to work what I was learning in Psychology over the last two quarters so breaking down BBM really was fascinating. I needed people's input on it though so I went to the ultimate site for BBM which is ennisjack.com and all the great people there helped give me ideas and submitted their thoughts.

I hate imperfection.

So from browsing the net looking for a super-cool template to replace my old template, I ended up totally ruining my blog... Good thing I backed it up and everything so I was able to re-upload it and delete my older one. I'm glad I did, it adds freshness to my stuff and whatever plus I changed all of the colours. Well, that's an update, seriously.

Aspects That Rule Me...

So I totally stole this from my best friend.


Things that rule my life: 4 things

Emotion

Knowledge

Power

Music


I figured instead of listing them, I would explain them somewhat.

Emotion rules my life because I usually let how I feel direct my behaviour toward something. If I feel really sad about something, then I let that direct what I do for that day, along with hatred, happiness, and all the other emotions. Not only that but I can totally get caught up in how I am feeling and lose myself in it.

Knowledge because I have this intrinsic need/motivation to learn! I mean anything that fascinates me I will learn about. Languages, personalities, alternative religions, countries, witchcraft, cities, psychology - all that good stuff and more I have a constant craving for. Whenever I learn something new, I feel fulfilled inside, and excited about it... In fact right now I feel like I need to read some new data, information, or something!

Power... I feel the constant need for this. If I were in a ruling position, I would use it correctly but I would also lavish in it. I constantly feel the need to dominate something, not a person though, but be the leader. I could never dominate a loved one, nor a lover, but I would like to dominate their organization of things!

Music because it can totally change behaviours. I could be in such a crappy mood that it totally elevates it to a different level. Lately though I have been listening to music that has been relating to the drama in my life and also to my general personality... Some examples? "We Belong Together" by Mariah, "Sally's Song" by Amy Lee, "Poker face" by Lady GaGa, "Nicest Thing" by Kate Nash, and "My Happy Ending" by Avril... These are only examples; I do listen to a larger list though. I should also note that since this ties into emotion, I find that music can express what I want to express better sometimes. So if I can't really explain something, there's usually a song that will do that.

color me crazy!

Dang, what a longtime since an update - oh well. Well I've been busy mending my relationship with Camden as we had a very hard fight recently and we're still recovering from it. I even feel a sense of anger toward him for the choices he has made but I don't know.

I'm also busy with school work and I think I'm passing all of my classes now. Math is difficult but I think I will scrape by. Photography, American Literature, and Psychology should have very good grades as I do my best in those classes. Yikes.

Well it turns out that many of my friends are going through crazy times as well and the overall outcome with change us as people, and hopefully that change will be alright. I think I might come out of it as a very different person... I mean, I've seen a side of myself that I hadn't seen in years... A side that's very mean, rude, and jealous. I think now it's going to be a mega-mix of that for now on.


OH! I almost forgot to note. I'm going out to Ohio to spend time with my very good friend, hopefully, in the summer time. I'm going to be taking online classes then so I can get them out of the way but I doubt if it will impede on hanging out with him for a month. BTW, a month does seem like a longtime maybe it will be shorter? I will need to decide of course; I will buying the plane ticket before June so I will be saving up some cash (600+ hopefully) so I can get there and back and still be able to afford food and stuff!

Immersion Test Results...

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||| 42% Stability |||| 18% Orderliness |||||||||||||||||| 74% Accommodation |||||||||| 38% Interdependence |||||| 30% Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 62% Mystical |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Artistic |||| 16% Religious || 10% Hedonism || 10% Materialism |||||||||||||||| 63% Narcissism |||||||||||| 50% Adventurousness |||||||||||| 43% Work ethic |||| 16% Humanitarian |||||||||||||||| 70% Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 63% Romantic |||||||||||||||| 70% Avoidant |||||||||| 36% Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 56% Wealth |||||| 23% Dependency |||||||||||||||||| 76% Change averse |||||||||||||| 56% Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 70% Individuality |||||||||| 36% Sexuality |||||||||||| 43% Peter pan complex |||||||||||| 50% Family drive |||||||||| 36% Physical Fitness |||||||||||| % Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 63% Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 63% Vanity |||||||||||| 43% Honor |||||||||||||||| 70% Thriftiness |||||||||||||| 56%

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personality test by similarminds.com

Hm.

So the Winter quarter begins on Monday and I'm looking forward to it. I'm taking four classes this quarter, a total of 14 credits. It's going to be tough but I look forward, mostly, to my Psychology class with my professor/advisor. In Psych 202, we get to watch a film, that we already watched and write a paper on it. It's a film that we personally like, not like a class film, and we have to go back through and talk about the little things that we missed the first time and explain them.

I recently saw the movie Brokeback Mountain and I plan to do it on that film. There was so much symbolism and meaning in such little parts of that film, and I think that it will work well. It was more than just a 'gay cowboy' movie, it was much deeper and more complex... Some people didn't even give it a chance, but it has to be one of the best movies that I have ever seen. Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger gave very amazing performances. It's sad that it didn't win best picture though, it beat that film that did win by a lot more.

I also saw The Dark Knight and Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker was absolutely amazing. I didn't think that he could pull it off, but he did and he made it his own. He should definitely win an oscar or something for that. It was absolutely amazing and it's very saddening that he passed away almost a year ago and I'm just discovering how amazing his work was... He was a phenomenal actor and he had so much potential...

Evil Riddle...

"Pure eyes, blue like a glassy bead---
You are always looking at me
and I am always looking at you.

Ah, you're too meek---
beautiful, unspoiled:
thus I'm so sad, I suffer---
and so happy, it hurts.

I want to hurt you
and destroy myself
What you would think
if you knew how I felt.

Would you simply smile,
not saying a word?
Even curses from your mouth
would be as beautiful as pearls.

I place my left hand on your
face as though we were to kiss.
Then I suddenly shove my thumb
deep into your eyesocket.
Abruptly, decisively,
like drilling a hole.

And what would it feel like?
Like jelly?
Trembling with ecstasy, I obscenely
mix it around and around: I must
taste the warmth of your blood.

How would you scream?
Would you shriek "It hurts!
It hurts!" as cinnabar-red tears
stream from your crushed eye?

You can't know the maddening
hunger I've felt in the midst of
our kisses, so many of them
I've lost count.

As though drinking in your cries,
I bring my hopes to fruition:
biting your tongue, shredding it,
biting at your lips as if tasting
your lipstick.

Oh, what euphoric heights I would
reach, having my desires fulfilled
like a greedy, gluttonous cur.

I longed, too, for your cherry-tinted
cheeks, tasty enough to bewitch my
tongue.
I would surely be healed,
and would cry like a child.

And how is your tender ear?
It brushes against my cheek;
I want it to creep up to my lips so
I can sink my teeth into its flesh.

Your left ear, always hearing words
whispered sweet as pie---
I want it to hear my true feelings.
I never lied, no...
but I did have my secrets.

Ah, but what must you think of me?
Do you hate me? Are you afraid?
As though inviting you to the agony
at the play's end, if you wish, you
could destroy me---I wouldn't care.

As you wish, you may destroy me
---I wouldn't care."


123
456
789

Using these numbers, derive the four-digit passcode from this riddle.