Can we start over?

I hate making promises I can't keep. Over the last year, since my last post, everything seems to have fallen apart. I want it all to start again but that is a pipe dream. I've taken to the bottle way too much and even now at 6AM I'm drinking again already. I guess as long as I'm numbed to whatever then I'm fine, although I get in much more arguments now. I hate how things turned out - is that what life is? An unknown abyss of random darkness?

I hope that changes.