License, School, and feelings...

I finally went and got my license today. I've been driving around for a little bit and it's a good feeling that I can take myself places without having to worry about a ride. :D I went to the YMCA today and worked out for a little bit, and then I went back to my High school to visit my old teachers.

The guy at front didn't want to let me in though, well at first. After awhile he allowed it and I got in. I was shocked to see that my picture was on a wall along with all the 2007 Graduates from the school; what a memory it was. I forgot how the school was and everything. There are a lot of things different but it has the same feeling. I loved hanging out with friends and stuff, now a lot of my old friends are scattered, away... I'm glad that a lot of my really good friends are still around though. :D

I visited with my teaches for about 10 minutes and then I left. Boring huh? Not really, I was able to get out of the house which is always good I suppose. :)


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Although all is well, I feel pretty sad though. From seeing all the pictures from everyone on the plaque, I know that a lot of them probably won't be alive for the 10 year reunion. I know it's weird that I'm sad about that - there was a lot of people I didn't even know... But hopefully all can show up, along with all my friends. :)

Yikes - School is back!

Sigh... I knew this day will come sooner or later, and well it's going to be here next Monday. I feel okay about it, but I have really enjoyed doing a whole lot of nothing the last couple of months. :D

I went to get my books the other day, and it all came to a hefty 502 dollars; thank hell financial aid paid for it. Anyway, I'd have to say that my total weight for the books are about 30 pounds... Plus or minus 5 pounds. It's freaking heavy, but good thing that I only need to bring in certain books on certain days.

Every Thursday I have to go to Ontario, OR for two labs. Hopefully my carpool ride will still give me that ride. If my older brother doesn't let me use his car, in case my carpool doesn't work out, then I'm totally screwed. I finally passed my license test, so I sure as hell need a car to drive! My carpooler said that I will have to drive every so often when she's too tired to - I have no problem with that.

I just hope I still have a ride!

Found out what a Nullo was!

HOLY FUCK! I've read some crazy ass thing before in my life, but Jesus!

I found a story on the internet just browsing through yahoo questions and came across this answer about a nullo. I didn't know what it was, but someone posted a link to the story I read and it was about y about a guy who basically gets castrated... He was a gay guy, but god... The shit that was told in that interview was so disgusting and disturbing... I got dizzy and stuff after reading it! I had to stop myself half way through it because, well, any normal person would have to!

I'll post the full story here, but god... It's sick!

Questioner: I hope you won’t be offended if I ask you to prove to me that you’re a nullo. Just so that our readers will know that this isn’t a fake.

Mark: Sure, no problem. (stands and unbuckles pants and drops them to his ankles, revealing a smooth, shaven crotch with only a thin scar to show where his genitals once were).

Q: Thank you. That’s a remarkable sight.

(laughs and pulls pants back up). Most people think so.

Q: What made you decide to become a nullo?

(pauses). Well, it really wasn’t entirely my decision.

Q: Excuse me?

The idea wasn’t mine. It was my lover’s idea.

Q: Please explain what you mean.

Okay, it’s a long story. You have to understand my relationship with Scott before you’ll know what happened.

Q: We have plenty of time. Please go on.

Both of us were into the leather lifestyle when we met through a personal ad. Scott’s ad was very specific: he was looking for someone to completely dominate and modify to his pleasure. In other word, a slave.

The ad intrigued me. I had been in a number of B&D scenes and also some S&M, but I found them unsatisfying because they were all temporary. After the fun was over, everybody went on with life as usual.

I was looking for a complete life change. I wanted to meet someone who would be part of my life forever. Someone who would control me and change me at his whim.

Q: In other words, you’re a true masochist.

Oh yes, no doubt about that. I’ve always been totally passive in my sexual relationships.

Anyway, we met and there was instant chemistry. Scott is a few years older than me and very good looking. Our personalities meshed totally. He’s very dominant.

I went back to his place after drinks and had the best sex of my life. That’s when I knew I was going to be with Scott for a long, long time.

Q: What sort of things did you two do?

It was very heavy right away. He restrained me and whipped me for quite awhile. He put clamps on my nipples and a ball gag in my mouth. And he hung a ball bag on my sack with some very heavy weights. That bag really bounced around when Scott fucked me from behind.

Q: Ouch.

(laughs) Yeah, no kidding. At first I didn’t think I could take the pain, but Scott worked me through it and after awhile I was flying. I was sorry when it was over.

Scott enjoyed it as much as I did. Afterwards he talked about what kind of a commitment I’d have to make if I wanted to stay with him.

Q: What did he say exactly?

Well, besides agreeing to be his slave in every way, I’d have to be ready to be modified. To have my body modified.

Q: Did he explain what he meant by that?

Not specifically, but I got the general idea. I guessed that something like castration might be part of it.

Q: How did that make you feel?

(laughs) I think it would make any guy a little hesitant.

Q: But it didn’t stop you from agreeing to Scott’s terms?

No it didn’t. I was totally hooked on this man. I knew that I was willing to pay any price to be with him.

Anyway, a few days later I moved in with Scott. He gave me the rules right away: I’d have to be naked at all times while we were indoors, except for a leather dog collar that I could never take off. I had to keep my head shaved. And I had to wear a butt plug except when I needed to take a shit or when we were having sex.

I had to sleep on the floor next to his bed. I ate all my food on the floor, too.

The next day he took me to a piercing parlor where he had my nipples done, and a Prince Albert put into the head of my cock.

Q: Heavy stuff.

Yeah, and it got heavier. He used me as a toilet, pissing in my mouth. I had to lick his asshole clean after he took a shit, too. It was all part of a process to break down any sense of individuality I had. After awhile, I wouldn’t hesitate to do anything he asked.

Q: Did the sex get rougher?

Oh God, yeah. He started fisting me every time we had sex. But he really started concentrating on my cock and balls, working them over for hours at a time.

He put pins into the head of my cock and into my sack. He attached clothespins up and down my cock and around my sack. The pain was pretty bad. He had to gag me to keep me from screaming.

Q: When did the idea of nullification come up?

Well, it wasn’t nullification at first. He started talking about how I needed to make a greater commitment to him, to do something to show that I was dedicated to him for life.

When I asked him what he meant, he said that he wanted to take my balls.

Q: How did you respond?

Not very well at first. I told him that I liked being a man and didn’t want to become a eunuch. But he kept at me, and wore me down. He reminded me that I agreed to be modified according to his wishes, and this is what he wanted for me. Anything less would show that I wasn’t really committed to the relationship. And besides, I was a total bottom and didn’t really need my balls.

It took about a week before I agreed to be castrated. But I wasn’t happy about it, believe me.

Q: How did he castrate you?

Scott had a friend who was into the eunuch scene. One night he came over with his bag of toys, and Scott told me that this was it. I was gonna lose my nuts then and there.

Q: Did you think of resisting?

I did for a minute, but deep down I knew there was no way. I just didn’t want to lose Scott. I’d rather lose my balls.

Scott’s friend restrained me on the living room floor while Scott videotaped us. He used an elastrator to put a band around my sack.

Q: That must have really hurt.

Hell yeah. It’s liked getting kicked in the balls over and over again. I screamed for him to cut the band off, but he just kept on going, putting more bands on me. I had four bands around my sack when he finished.

I was rolling around on the floor screaming, while Scott just videotaped me. Eventually, my sack got numb and the pain subsided. I looked between my legs and could see my sack was a dark purple. I knew my balls were dying inside.

Scott and his friend left the room and turned out the light. I lay there for hours, crying because I was turning into a eunuch and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

Q: What happened then?

Eventually I fell asleep from exhaustion. Then the light switched on and I could see Scott’s friend kneeling between my legs, touching my sack. I heard him tell Scott that my balls were dead.

Q: How did Scott react?

Very pleased. He bent down and felt around my sack. He said that it felt cold.

Scott’s friend told me that I needed to keep the bands on. He said that eventually my balls and sack would dry up and fall off. I just nodded. What else could I do at that point?

Q: Did it happen just like Scott’s friend said?

Yeah, a week or so later my package just fell off. Scott put it in a jar of alcohol to preserve it. It’s on the table next to his bed.

Q: How did things go after that?

Scott was really loving to me. He kept saying how proud he was of me, how grateful that I had made the commitment to him. He even let me sleep in his bed.

Q: What about the sex?

We waited awhile after my castration, and then took it easy until I was completely healed. At first I was able to get hard, but as the weeks went by my erections began to disappear.

That pleased Scott. He liked fucking me and feeling my limp cock. It made his dominance over me even greater.

Q: When did he start talking about making you a nullo?

A couple of months after he took my nuts. Our sex had gotten to be just as rough as before the castration. He really got off on torturing my cock. Then he started saying stuff like, “Why do you even need this anymore?”

That freaked me out. I always thought that he might someday take my balls, but I never imagined that he’d go all the way. I told him that I wanted to keep my dick.

Q: How did he react to that?

At first he didn’t say much. But he kept pushing. Scott said I would look so nice being smooth between my legs. He said my dick was small and never got hard anymore, so what was the point of having it.

But I still resisted. I wanted to keep my cock. I felt like I wouldn’t be a man anymore without it.

Q: So how did he get you to agree?

He didn’t. He took it against my will.

Q: How did that happen?

We were having sex in the basement, and I was tied up and bent over this wooden bench as he fucked me. Then I heard the doorbell ring. Scott answered it, and he brought this guy into the room.

At first I couldn’t see anything because of the way I was tied. But then I felt these hands lift me up and put me on my back. And I could see it was Steve’s friend, the guy who took my nuts.

Q: How did you react?

I started screaming and crying, but the guy just gagged me. The two of them dragged me to the other side of the room where they tied me spread eagled on the floor.

Steve’s friend snaked a catheter up my dick, and gave me a shot to numb my crotch. I was grateful for that, at least. I remember how bad it hurt to lose my balls.

Q: What was Steve doing at this time?

He was kneeling next to me talking quietly. He said I’d be happy that they were doing this. That it would make our relationship better. That kind of calmed me down. I thought, “Well, maybe it won’t be so bad.”

Q: How long did the penectomy take?

It took awhile. Some of the penis is inside the body, so he had to dig inside to get all of it. There was a lot of stitching up and stuff. He put my cock in the same jar with my balls. You can even see the Prince Albert sticking out of the head.

Then they made me a new pisshole. It’s between my asshole and where my sack used to be. So now I have to squat to piss.

Q: What has life been like since you were nullified?

After I got over the surgery and my anger, things got better. When I healed up, I began to like my smooth look. Steve brought friends over and they all admired it, saying how pretty I looked. It made me feel good that Steve was proud of me.

Q: Do you have any sexual feeling anymore?

Yes, my prostate still responds when Steve fucks me or uses the buttplug. And my nipples are quite sensitive. If Steve plays with them while fucking me, I have a kind of orgasm. It’s hard to describe, but it’s definitely an orgasm.

Sometimes Steve says he’s gonna have my prostate and nipples removed, but he’s just kidding around. He’s happy with what he’s done to me.

Q: So are you glad Steve had you nullified?

Well, I wouldn’t say I’m glad. If I could, I’d like to have my cock and balls back. But I know that I’m a nullo forever. So I’m making the best of it.

Steve and I are very happy. I know that he’ll take care of me and we’ll be together always. I guess losing my manhood was worth it to make that happen for us.

Jesus! I still feel freaking sick after that... WTF is wrong with people?

10 Ways to Boost Your Psychic Abilities

I found these browsing around the internet, and they look very promising.

1. Whenever the telephone rings, close your eyes and visualize the person who is calling. Then pick up the phone and discover if you’re right. Your accuracy will improve dramatically as you practice this exercise, and this exercise may help you develop your clairvoyant abilities in addition to intuition and precognition.

2. When you stand in line at the bank, tell yourself which teller will serve you. This exercise is similar to the first, but you can see your “target." This exercise helps you develop your intuition and your ability to psychically connect with others who are in close proximity.

3. When you watch a sporting event, tell yourself the outcome before the event begins. As you develop skill with this exercise, expand to predicting more statistics such as scores or top 5 placements in racing or judged events. This exercise helps you develop your intuition, precognition, and clairvoyance. Do not misuse this skill for personal gain, such as gambling, or you will likely lose your skill entirely.

4. Have a friend roll a dice. Begin by calling “even" or “odd" before the dice is thrown your accuracy will increase with practice. Expand to call the number the dice will land on. This exercise helps you develop your intuition, precognition and clairvoyance (specifically your ability to see numbers).

5. Work with a friend and a standard deck of playing cards. Begin by predicting black or red, and then have your friend turn over the top card of the deck. Your accuracy will improve with practice. When your accuracy is 80% or greater, expand to predict the suit, and later, the number or face of the card as well. This exercise boosts your intuition, precognition, and clairvoyance (specifically colours and shapes).

6. When you’re riding an elevator and another passenger joins you, tell yourself which button they’ll press. This exercises helps you develop your intuition, precognition, clairvoyance (number recognition), telepathy, and your ability to connect with others psychically.

7. In the morning, write down the names of people you will have important interactions or communications with that day. Don’t rely on logic. Clear your mind and allow faces or names to come to you naturally. Trust it and write it down. Using this exercise regularly will significantly improve your accuracy.

8. When in line at the movies, tell yourself which movie the person or group ahead of you will request (if you overhear them say it, try again another time!). This exercise helps you improve your intuition concerning the intentions, preferences and actions of others, and it can lead to developing telepathy and empathy.

9. When you have a meeting or appointment, tell yourself the colour of clothing the other person will be wearing before you meet. (This does not work for all people or situations. For example, you can reasonably assume a doctor will be wearing white, or you may know someone always wears a particular colour.) This exercise improves your clairvoyant abilities and could help you develop remote viewing skills as well.

10. Ask three friends a question (such as “what did you eat for breakfast?" or “where do you want to go on your next vacation?") Before you ask your questions, your friends must decide amongst themselves which one will answer falsely, and you must write down which friend will answer falsely. Then you ask your question and listen to each friend reply. Show them the name you wrote down before you asked the question. This exercise helps you develop intuition, precognition and can lead to developing telepathy. This skill is especially valuable in life the ability to recognize deception and even predict it can make your life, and the lives of many others, much smoother.

Still No Update...

I really don't have anything to update everyone with - sorry. I guess when I attend classes again I will be able to really add stuff... So as a type of update I took a blogthings quiz about being more capitalist or more socialist...

Here's my results!

You Are 0% Capitalist, 100% Socialist

You see a lot of injustice in the world, and you'd like to see it fixed. As far as you're concerned, all the wrong people have the power. You're strongly in favor of the redistribution of wealth - and more protection for the average person.

Are You a Socialist or Capitalist?