...

In my last livejournal post I talked about how much I care for my friends... I change so fast in my feeling toward someone that it's disturbing. That entry I expressed how much I cared for friends, and now I'm feeling disgusted, disappointed, and a little hate toward one of them. I mean honestly, if you come to visit someone then you should be the centre of their focus and everything. I mean sure, if your friend is dating someone of course the relationship should be important but the fact that I'm now sleeping outside of the room, on a couch, in a darkened area because I strongly believe that they just want to fuck. I mean seriously, what kind of person would do that?

You arrive, and then get told: "You know, you're bigger than I thought you were; I'm going to be honest, you're fatter than I thought." and then later you get told "I really appreciate it that you came to visit." Yeah, let me tell you how much that means to me that you completely insult me, destroy even more of my self-esteem, and then tell me how much of a great friend I am. I should have posted that the day I arrived but I didn't. I feel so shity right now; so full of disgust and anger... I wouldn't be surprised if I come home and become anorexic due to how much of my self-esteem has been destroyed.

I miss my real friends... The ones who know how I am, the ones who accept me for who I am... Friday cannot come fast enough, but I can't wait until I'm on that plane far from here and back where I belong... The place I call home; the place where I won't be insulted and then praised but accepted and held close to those I care about.