Sally's Song

Crazy gals

2011-02-21T03:10:00.001-08:00

Random blog but I'm totally into Desperate housewives. I never thought I'd enjoy this show but then again I never gave it a chance.

I first got a glimpse in my personality class and that sparked my interest. We had to analyze one of the characters and then compare it to what we were learning. Since then, and now that I found out that its on netflix, I can now say I have a new show!

So I lied.

2011-02-18T14:33:00.001-08:00

Okay it's been way longer than two weeks but last semester made me a wreck haha. I got a 1.4 overall GPA and now BSU is angry with me about it. They say that if I don't do better they'll suspend me for a semester... gah. Anyway. Life's okay, kind of crazy but that's expected. Here's to a better semester and good grades!

2nd week

2010-08-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

Hello! It's been quite awhile since my last posting, but I have not forgotten blogger land!

Anyway, today marks my second week at Boise State University. Transitioning to a University setting from a community college setting was much easier than I had thought it would be. I think having the core knowledge of how a school works helped that process!

Classes are currently going okay so far. Nothing to crazy - yet! But as a college student I know that will begin to change very soon, am I ready? Nope not yet, but I know it will come. My classes consist of Science, poetry, philosophy, and elementary mathematics so it's not too bad in my opinion. If I were taking these back at TVCC I'd be a highly stressed person but semester systems allow more time to cover things so I think that's why I'm at a slight ease.

Hopefully this week goes by as smooth as last weeks, I'll probably update within a week to see...

Twilit Celled-Nucleus

2010-05-31T15:12:00.001-07:00

Summer is coming up fast. I still have classes throughout the summer but oh well. Hopefully I can get things resolved around school and everything as I transition into BSU. Eh. So now everything's getting sorted out and I'm supposed to get a work study position at BSU too so that will help out quite a bit.

Other than that, I'm graduating from TVCC on June 11 (I think), and I'm considering not doing the ceremony. I don't know why but I feel like going at 1pm for rehearsal in Ontario and then again at 7pm is no fun. That's my primary reason for not wanting to.

School Quartely Report

2010-02-24T08:23:00.000-08:00

This quarter has to be the least stressful of my quarters. I have, technically one quarter left, two if things don't work out in my favour but hopefully things will get a little more simple. Next quarter I have to repeat my Math 111 class due to me getting a non passing grade of a D - I'm totally not looking forward to it.

So far, grade-wise, I'm doing alright. In my classes, I have gotten passing grades on all of my exams so far ( Three in Psychology, One in Humanities, Four in Sociology, and Two in Anatomy) I'm really hoping that I outdo myself and get an even better GPA than last quarter - here's to hoping that that happens!

My love for you...

2010-01-11T18:31:00.000-08:00

Without a doubt, I come to find myself everyday filled with even more questions than the day before. Silly as it may sound, I guess, but it's as if when I wake up, I learn something newer, and then have a question or two about why. Perhaps it's the Psychology + Sociology thinking process that has now formed in my mind. As of late, I've been applying Psychology's theories to myself and am uncovering things. However, in the end, it just leaves me with more questions to why I came to some conclusions.

Lovestruck... or lust struck?

2009-12-27T17:16:00.001-08:00

I hate it when I begin to like someone and out of spite someone tries to ruin it. The person ruining it is named Bryan George. He's a total loser. I used to be friends with him until he showed his real true, two-faced being. It's disgusting. He's STD riddled and attempted to get back at me for revealing that. Haha.

Anyway, I know that all relationships start out as lust , so this person that I like is totally out of lust but I like this person for who they are. I hate how people try to ruin these things... if I had any good sense I would use Abaddon for revenge but I think there are lesser ways of doing things instead of being so destructive... God, I'm so filled with hate right now it's pouring out of my nose... If Bryan is trying to get that other person away from me, by talking to them, messaging them... I'm not sure how I will react.

BTW. For those of you who are nice enough to send hate mail...

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/Deadmanwwe?ref=mf
www.myspace.com/deadmanwwe

If you do, I'm grateful for your help.

Don't Regret

2009-12-19T17:28:00.000-08:00

After making mistakes all of my life, I can't help but regret what I could have done, and what I've done. Hurting people, making mistakes about myself, and everything else really sticks around - and it hurts sometimes. Regretting is what prevents people from doing things and moving on but how can you not regret? When I may even slightly hurt someone I get hurt, even if I totally meant it.

If I think that a love interest is losing interest in me because I didn't do something right. It's always been a problem of mine : to jump to conclusions. I can't help it but I want to change it - I just don't know how. As a Psychology major you'd think I'd find the answer to all of my issues but I haven't. It's not as solid as one might think... there's a ton of things that some Psychologists don't even learn about themselves; you have to take it as it comes. I just hope that this new person is genuine, and hopefully I can remain positive and NOT jealous... cause I can really get jealous - and it ruins everything.

Is it True?

2009-10-28T19:42:00.000-07:00

I've always liked how music can really be therapeutic through certain times. After going through hectic, sad, painful, or just happy times, music has always had a place in all of them. There's always a song, somewhere, that can relate to you in that time. Whether it's sad, or happy, you can relate to the feeling it gives you. I love music, I used to hate it so much (because of not having a defined taste yet) but now I can't imagine not having it. Music is poetry, nutrition for the soul, happiness in sounds, and a powerful way of expression. Human emotions can be felt through some songs, and some of them are so powerful that it's possible to feel those effects.

Some songs that I get powerful feels from are, but not restricted to:

"Is it true?" by Yohanna
"Gomenasai" by t.A.T.u.
"Slipped Away" by Avril Lavigne
"My Immortal" by Evanescence
"Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson
"The Wings" by Gustavo Santaolalla
"J'attends l'amour" by Jenifer
"Who Knew?" by P!nk
"Drive You Home" by Garbage
"Better" by Plumb

Here's a music video to "Is it True?" by Yohanna:

Hectic.

2009-10-26T13:11:00.000-07:00

School has officially been going on for about a month now and it has kept me tied down. So much studying, which seems futile sometimes, along with managing life has become VERY difficult. I have to say by far this has been my most stressful year in YEARS. Money, health, and everything else is making me feel very overwhelmed.

I've started working at my school as a part of my Work Study. I have no idea when I get paid, but I hope it's soon! I have medical bills to pay on, regular bills to pay on, and stuff to buy... I have been looking up grants and stuff (For personal use) but it hasn't been working out. Gosh, sometimes I just don't know what to do... life's gotten hectic.

PS. I washed my iPod... probably due to having so much to think about... I really want a new one.

L...U...s....T... ?

2009-09-10T02:03:00.000-07:00

It's kind of funny that the person I used to dislike so much - is the one that I'm really starting to like. To think that I used to blame this person for the problems that occurred between the person I used to like, and now I'm totally liking them on so many levels. I think it might include some lustful elements but I think all potential relationships do. We click on some levels but we do have our differences but that's another reason why I'm starting to like this person.

There are some things I'm holding back but if things get very serious, then I will spill the beans... or truths. Hopefully this is more than just lustful thoughts and hopefully something more.

Не верь, не бойся, не проси

2009-09-07T00:28:00.000-07:00

t.A.T.u has totally moved up in my list of favourite singers. I don't know why their music has missed me. I have always liked "All The Things She Said" although I didn't know that they had originally sung the song; after listening to it on the satellite radio I found them out, got their albums, and am now totally hooked!

This song is what originally had gotten them famous, it was when they had sung and represented Russia in Eurovision.

Sensitive Issues

2009-08-19T08:32:00.000-07:00

Such as those that cause a fury between the right and left. I've always been a pro-choicer and will always be one but I just have to say that once you experience an abortion that happens in your family, it really touches base with you. My older brother had a girlfriend that he had loved for such a longtime, and would have an off and on relationship and then she ended up pregnant. This was after a series of off and on relationship over six years. She then aborted the child and wanted nothing to do with him. I read his blog post about it and it feels sad. I mean, I could have been an uncle but am not due to her choice to just not have it, with no good reason whatsoever...

Tender Sugar

2009-08-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been in a Metroid mood. I've always loved the games (except for the older ones, in which I have yet to play) and started playing the two that I have again. In Metroid Prime I didn't manage to get 100% completion (came close at 97%) and tried again and managed. Now I'm starting again on Echoes and am totally loving it. I don't have a Wii but next school quarter I plan on getting one to get to play the third one. Ever since my 'awakening' of playing them again I have become obsessed. Samus is awesome! haha.

On a much different note, I feel a little worthless. I feel like the knowledge that I have gained is waning due to the lack of not using it. I review, sometimes, my psychology book to have a type of recovering and it works but I fear I have lost most of that and my Math skills. The worthlessness comes from the feeling that I am not smarter than I was last year, I guess. Hopefully this feeling passes because I know I'm not an idiot, I just need to work harder toward my studies.

Empathy

2009-07-14T19:32:00.001-07:00

It's kind of interesting that a person I disliked so much to the point that if given the chance, I would have beaten the crap out of them, I would have, but what's funny is how fast I can feel so much empathy and sympathy for them. I'm talking to them right now on a messenger and I can't help but feel a need to help them out so that they don't feel pain anymore.

Perhaps that's the kind of feelings that a future, hope to be, Psychologist needs: empathy + sympathy to help people, to feel a connection but also to be able to help them through their struggles. Hm, perhaps this can count as experience for me? Helping out people all the time is a good thing, since I am very altruistic, I can see how being a Psychologist can be a good career for me.

Life Without Certain Emotions

2009-07-12T15:33:00.000-07:00

I often wonder what life would be like to be rid of certain emotions. I mean, it would add some clearity to one's life in a way - right? Emotions like hatred, sadness, and anger would really be a good thing to live without. I know that love and happiness are essentially necessary but I think that life, for everyone, without anger and hatred would definitely be a better world for everyone. Sadness, I don't know. Sadness does add something to life but I do think that if someone, that a person really cares about, passes away then sadness is necessary.

Sometimes though when I feel too sad or depressed I just wish that I could do something to prevent from ever feeling those emotions all together. I will listen to songs about lost love or something and it reminds me of a certain person and all that 'what if' crap happens. Songs that also remind of this huge fight that I had had with this person, and 'what if' I had stopped being friends. I often wonder a lot of things if you hadn't realized; I don't know if that can be both a good thing or a bad thing, or just a bad thing.

Some guy with big oh popeye arms...

2009-07-01T14:14:00.000-07:00

I like Margaret Cho's comedy a lot more now. I used to sort of be offended by her style because she swears a lot but she's actually really hilarious. I was disappointed in her latest one though but I do enjoy her others. I actually borrowed a line from her special "Notorious CHO" and titled it for this blog. Hm.

Well officially one more day and I'm on a plane ride home. This has been truly the longest I have ever been away and I can't wait to return. I leave early in the morning, and arrive at 12:30 pm mountain standard time... AH, mountains again!

...

2009-07-01T01:14:00.000-07:00

In my last livejournal post I talked about how much I care for my friends... I change so fast in my feeling toward someone that it's disturbing. That entry I expressed how much I cared for friends, and now I'm feeling disgusted, disappointed, and a little hate toward one of them. I mean honestly, if you come to visit someone then you should be the centre of their focus and everything. I mean sure, if your friend is dating someone of course the relationship should be important but the fact that I'm now sleeping outside of the room, on a couch, in a darkened area because I strongly believe that they just want to fuck. I mean seriously, what kind of person would do that?

You arrive, and then get told: "You know, you're bigger than I thought you were; I'm going to be honest, you're fatter than I thought." and then later you get told "I really appreciate it that you came to visit." Yeah, let me tell you how much that means to me that you completely insult me, destroy even more of my self-esteem, and then tell me how much of a great friend I am. I should have posted that the day I arrived but I didn't. I feel so shity right now; so full of disgust and anger... I wouldn't be surprised if I come home and become anorexic due to how much of my self-esteem has been destroyed.

I miss my real friends... The ones who know how I am, the ones who accept me for who I am... Friday cannot come fast enough, but I can't wait until I'm on that plane far from here and back where I belong... The place I call home; the place where I won't be insulted and then praised but accepted and held close to those I care about.

One, two, three!! four?

2009-06-29T18:07:00.001-07:00

Yikes. I think I totally laid on my arm wrong the other night when my friend's boyfriend spent the night. It's been killing me since last night, and it's going on all day today! I ate and got some excedrin and hopefully that tones down the pain a little bit. Lately the weather has been stabilizing here in Ohio, and I hear back at home it's getting dreadfully hot. Well according to my weather forcast-thing that I have on my computer, which is synced back to Idaho, it says that today is 33 C and tomorrow is going to be 32! What a great homecoming week - when it's freaking hot!!!

The worst thing you can ever hear....

2009-06-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

So yeah, not to sound too assertive or anything but I believe that if someone has a friend spending a few days with him or her, that they should NOT be less than a metre away appearing to be having sex - OK?! I mean seriously. I wasn't even that far away but I swear to God that's what was going on. Not to mention the annoying kissing sounds every so often - they seemed to go on ALL NIGHT. I woke up because of them! They were just smooching, and kissing, and BLAH! I felt dirty and disgusted by it all! I mean seriously, it's only common respect to not do that kind of stuff to wake someone up?

By the way, I don't ever want to hear whether or not someone can ejaculate 14 times in a row. That's like the worst thing you can ever hear - EVER! I mean, I was just laying there, after being woken up at 9:30 AM to that! Seriously, the worst thing you can ever hear...

Trip Update!

2009-06-27T19:18:00.000-07:00

Yeah two in one day - yay?

I've been here for eight days now and I've come to see the differences between home and Ohio!

So yeah, I go back home in five days now, not counting today of course. The trip has been interesting so far. I didn't go primarily for fun but just to see what life outside of Idaho was like. All I can say that it's full of different characters, hotter weather, and a stranger atmosphere.

I've never been to a bar before, but I don't know if I'll ever go to one when I go home because it's just not me. I'll probably go again with my friends on Tuesday because, well, if I leave on Friday then I should hangout as much more as possible. The last time though I got molested by a drag queen... Yeah. Before she was asking me all these questions like "Have you ever done drag before? You'd be beautiful!" and "I can make you a star!"; she did say she was kidding about me doing the drag, but not about the star thing in which bothered me. Afterward, I felt uncomfortable through the whole club scene and my good friend Brandy sat there with me the whole time because she and I both felt out of place... Finally, at 2:30 in the morning, my friend was done doing what he was doing and we got to go. By then, the drag queen was in the bag and well she wanted a hug from Brandy and I. I reluctantly gave her one but I thought it would be okay, but then she started feeling me over! She was like "Ooh. You know, I'm a powertop! I have a lot to offer to a boy!"

Here's the club:

and here's my friend Brandy being at the bar table with me:

Yeah and I also managed to go to the real Crystal Lake - you know the Lake where Jason Voorhees killed all those naughty counselors in the Friday The 13th Films? Yeah, it wasn't what I expected.

Random Passwords

2009-06-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

For some reason I'm always mixing up my passwords. I know that some people tend to unify them somehow but I totally used the wrong one for blogger! Strange topic, I know but I realize now that I have four or five set passwords that I use. I have the same for certain sites, and different one for others. Maybe I should make them all the same? Is that a stupid idea? Eh. I've come to realize that have diversity when it comes to passwords isn't a good idea due to the fact that you might mix them up or get them all wrong.

No Title

2009-06-20T16:22:00.000-07:00

So yeah I don't know how I'm feeling about this whole 'vacation' thing. I admit that I do have secondary motives but I find that they are rather ridiculous and a bit of a large, unrealistic goals. I think that my feelings and thoughts persist even though I try to look away from what I was here to do and need to do but I'm not sure anymore. Friendship is complicated so I know that it's worth it no matter how much I do miss my home but I do have two weeks left and it's just a matter if I can make it through it without the homesickness and without my emotions getting in the way.

Three Days.

2009-06-20T06:29:00.000-07:00

So I have been here for three days now and all is good. Hanging out with Camden is pretty cool and he's really nice. I've been meeting a lot of his friends and his friends' family so it's been great. I got to see some fireflies in person for the first time yesterday night. I was outside his friend's house and I just saw all these glowing-things floating around and it shocked me! So he and his friend took me on an adventure (in the humid, 82 degree, night-heat) looking for some and we found a ton! It was awesome

One Year Later...

2009-06-03T16:21:00.000-07:00

This quarter means that I have been going to TVCC for exactly one year now. It's rather interesting to look back at my blogs from that time to see a level of stress and anxiety that isn't seen very much now since I have adjusted better. I still find my studies to be difficult and sometimes irrelevant to what I would like to do as a career but it does show me how much I have grown in one year: personality, behaviours, thoughts, and friends - all have changed in a certain way. I have made friends I never would have had in High School due to the fact that I'm more open in college and my behaviours, thoughts, and personality have changed due to experience and learning of new material.

I wonder how much introspection has really gone on since a year ago... Perhaps one year from now, I will have grown a little bit more into an even better person...

PS. I haven't blogged recently because of my internet issues and also because of my constant school work-load!

Finals - Done!

2009-03-17T19:24:00.000-07:00

So I had my final finals today! Psychology and Literature. I'm so glad that I studied for my Psychology because it was pretty difficult but I loved it! I really hope I did well on that because I studied so much. My literature was okay, my professor allowed us notes so it wasn't as bad. The essay was pretty hard as he wanted us to compare/contrast realism and naturalism using examples and possible literature references - yikes! I should know my grades by next week, hopefully.

Spontaneous Recovery & Psychology

2009-03-15T15:14:00.000-07:00

Spontaneous Recovery in Psychology is when a person was previously broken from a learned behaviour but a stimulus caused that behaviour to re-emerge and that person to partake back into what was previously lost. This can be put into many forms from learning not to yell, to simple emotions. I find that after learning about this concept in my Psychology class, I realize how often people go through it. In fact, yesterday I went through it again and still am from talking to a person that I really loved. I mean, I was going through negative thoughts about how this person probably didn't want to talk to me (for reasons I didn't even know; they probably still wanted to but was busy) but when I got the call and they told me that they had been thinking about me the whole day... that brought back so many previous feelings and emotions so suddenly.

I mean I re-fell in love after I made myself lose those feelings. I mean they are very intense right now; there's the excitement, loving, and longing that has always been there but tucked away until I was shown a previous cause of my behaviour... Which was that other person; I fell in love with them for who they are, and when I experienced their feelings and thoughts it caused those feelings to come right back... Hopefully if you knew nothing about Psychology and "Spontaneous Recovery" you do have a general idea of it now.

True Love & Love at First Sight

2009-03-15T02:40:00.000-07:00

I believe in true love. Although love at first sight doesn't exist because you can't just see someone and 'fall' for everything that they are because you don't even know them yet! You fall in love with a person for who he/she is, emotions, personality, compatibility, and interests. It can be of course much more than just those because everyone falls in love with another person very differently. It all depends on you as a person...

Love at first sight is a total fantasy, we don't live in a world of Romeo and Juliet where people who just met are willing to die for eachother.

Since this is about love, I found a quote not too long ago that I really like : "Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them."

Emotional and Love hurts

2009-03-13T02:38:00.000-07:00

Gosh, I've been very emotional lately over love... I mean when you fall in love with somebody for WHO they are, and not for their body why must they totally (well I was told at one time that they had the same feelings) not feel the same way? I mean this person I really like totally is going for this other guy who is a total douche, and obviously only wants this person for the body and not the emotional connection. I have made this connection for over two years and yet that other person has a higher priority over me? That angers me a little bit, I mean honestly. That douche leaves comments on my friend's page about "Stay Sexy" and all that crap... I leave comments with videos of love songs and all that stuff. I mean I love this person for everything that they are, and we have so much in common - the physical-thing, I couldn't care less about. I love this person for who they are as a person - Just wish that they would really see that.

BTW. As a language person, I had so much trouble using "They" instead of "He/she"... I just had to keep the person gender neutral...

Organ Donation

2009-03-12T15:15:00.000-07:00

So I was reading this article on Yahoo! Canada about a group of people who were donating kidneys just to do it to help another person. It was very inspiring and amazing to see people do that for someone that they didn't even know. It made me start thinking about if I would do that, and I probably would. I mean, life is the most important thing in the world and saving someone's life is probably one of the best favours one can ever do. Although when I was reading about the donation of a kidney, and I was thinking about that but for some reason I got a serious pain in my side... Perhaps that's a psychologically-caused pain? Hopefully!

So much to do!!!

2009-03-11T13:04:00.000-07:00

Wow, so finals are next week so that means that this quarter is almost done. The Winter Quarter has so far, in my opinion, been the best quarter. My grades are good, and I love it! I've also really taken to studying so that explains my grades as the previous quarters studying wasn't something I did. I thought that my learning style was "Visual" but after reading about "Auditory" that makes sense. They say that auditory learners learn best when there is sound while one is studying. When I was doing my math and had friends here, they were talking and I was blowing through my math and totally understood it. That also explains when I studied psychology (On the test I got an 85) it was because I was listening to music while reading!

Well anyway, in Psychology we're covering chapters nine and ten on human development and so far it's the most difficult and the longest. We have to memorize all of the theories because we were told that there just isn't enough time to break it all down. I think I can do it, especially if I really study.

Oh, speaking about Psychology I got my essay back and I got extra credit on it. She wrote really nice comments on it and everything so I think she really liked my paper. I also feel very proud of it; as it put to work what I was learning in Psychology over the last two quarters so breaking down BBM really was fascinating. I needed people's input on it though so I went to the ultimate site for BBM which is ennisjack.com and all the great people there helped give me ideas and submitted their thoughts.

I hate imperfection.

2009-03-10T22:04:00.000-07:00

So from browsing the net looking for a super-cool template to replace my old template, I ended up totally ruining my blog... Good thing I backed it up and everything so I was able to re-upload it and delete my older one. I'm glad I did, it adds freshness to my stuff and whatever plus I changed all of the colours. Well, that's an update, seriously.

Aspects That Rule Me...

2009-03-06T11:58:00.000-08:00

So I totally stole this from my best friend.

Things that rule my life: 4 things

Emotion

Knowledge

Power

Music

I figured instead of listing them, I would explain them somewhat.

Emotion rules my life because I usually let how I feel direct my behaviour toward something. If I feel really sad about something, then I let that direct what I do for that day, along with hatred, happiness, and all the other emotions. Not only that but I can totally get caught up in how I am feeling and lose myself in it.

Knowledge because I have this intrinsic need/motivation to learn! I mean anything that fascinates me I will learn about. Languages, personalities, alternative religions, countries, witchcraft, cities, psychology - all that good stuff and more I have a constant craving for. Whenever I learn something new, I feel fulfilled inside, and excited about it... In fact right now I feel like I need to read some new data, information, or something!

Power... I feel the constant need for this. If I were in a ruling position, I would use it correctly but I would also lavish in it. I constantly feel the need to dominate something, not a person though, but be the leader. I could never dominate a loved one, nor a lover, but I would like to dominate their organization of things!

Music because it can totally change behaviours. I could be in such a crappy mood that it totally elevates it to a different level. Lately though I have been listening to music that has been relating to the drama in my life and also to my general personality... Some examples? "We Belong Together" by Mariah, "Sally's Song" by Amy Lee, "Poker face" by Lady GaGa, "Nicest Thing" by Kate Nash, and "My Happy Ending" by Avril... These are only examples; I do listen to a larger list though. I should also note that since this ties into emotion, I find that music can express what I want to express better sometimes. So if I can't really explain something, there's usually a song that will do that.

color me crazy!

2009-03-04T20:03:00.000-08:00

Dang, what a longtime since an update - oh well. Well I've been busy mending my relationship with Camden as we had a very hard fight recently and we're still recovering from it. I even feel a sense of anger toward him for the choices he has made but I don't know.

I'm also busy with school work and I think I'm passing all of my classes now. Math is difficult but I think I will scrape by. Photography, American Literature, and Psychology should have very good grades as I do my best in those classes. Yikes.

Well it turns out that many of my friends are going through crazy times as well and the overall outcome with change us as people, and hopefully that change will be alright. I think I might come out of it as a very different person... I mean, I've seen a side of myself that I hadn't seen in years... A side that's very mean, rude, and jealous. I think now it's going to be a mega-mix of that for now on.

OH! I almost forgot to note. I'm going out to Ohio to spend time with my very good friend, hopefully, in the summer time. I'm going to be taking online classes then so I can get them out of the way but I doubt if it will impede on hanging out with him for a month. BTW, a month does seem like a longtime maybe it will be shorter? I will need to decide of course; I will buying the plane ticket before June so I will be saving up some cash (600+ hopefully) so I can get there and back and still be able to afford food and stuff!

Immersion Test Results...

2009-01-23T12:04:00.000-08:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Stability	\|\|\|\|	18%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|	16%
Religious	\|\|	10%
Hedonism	\|\|	10%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|	16%
Humanitarian	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Family drive	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Honor	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Thriftiness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

Hm.

2009-01-02T08:20:00.000-08:00

So the Winter quarter begins on Monday and I'm looking forward to it. I'm taking four classes this quarter, a total of 14 credits. It's going to be tough but I look forward, mostly, to my Psychology class with my professor/advisor. In Psych 202, we get to watch a film, that we already watched and write a paper on it. It's a film that we personally like, not like a class film, and we have to go back through and talk about the little things that we missed the first time and explain them.

I recently saw the movie Brokeback Mountain and I plan to do it on that film. There was so much symbolism and meaning in such little parts of that film, and I think that it will work well. It was more than just a 'gay cowboy' movie, it was much deeper and more complex... Some people didn't even give it a chance, but it has to be one of the best movies that I have ever seen. Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger gave very amazing performances. It's sad that it didn't win best picture though, it beat that film that did win by a lot more.

I also saw The Dark Knight and Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker was absolutely amazing. I didn't think that he could pull it off, but he did and he made it his own. He should definitely win an oscar or something for that. It was absolutely amazing and it's very saddening that he passed away almost a year ago and I'm just discovering how amazing his work was... He was a phenomenal actor and he had so much potential...

Evil Riddle...

2008-12-15T07:47:00.000-08:00

"Pure eyes, blue like a glassy bead---
You are always looking at me
and I am always looking at you.

Ah, you're too meek---
beautiful, unspoiled:
thus I'm so sad, I suffer---
and so happy, it hurts.

I want to hurt you
and destroy myself
What you would think
if you knew how I felt.

Would you simply smile,
not saying a word?
Even curses from your mouth
would be as beautiful as pearls.

I place my left hand on your
face as though we were to kiss.
Then I suddenly shove my thumb
deep into your eyesocket.
Abruptly, decisively,
like drilling a hole.

And what would it feel like?
Like jelly?
Trembling with ecstasy, I obscenely
mix it around and around: I must
taste the warmth of your blood.

How would you scream?
Would you shriek "It hurts!
It hurts!" as cinnabar-red tears
stream from your crushed eye?

You can't know the maddening
hunger I've felt in the midst of
our kisses, so many of them
I've lost count.

As though drinking in your cries,
I bring my hopes to fruition:
biting your tongue, shredding it,
biting at your lips as if tasting
your lipstick.

Oh, what euphoric heights I would
reach, having my desires fulfilled
like a greedy, gluttonous cur.

I longed, too, for your cherry-tinted
cheeks, tasty enough to bewitch my
tongue.
I would surely be healed,
and would cry like a child.

And how is your tender ear?
It brushes against my cheek;
I want it to creep up to my lips so
I can sink my teeth into its flesh.

Your left ear, always hearing words
whispered sweet as pie---
I want it to hear my true feelings.
I never lied, no...
but I did have my secrets.

Ah, but what must you think of me?
Do you hate me? Are you afraid?
As though inviting you to the agony
at the play's end, if you wish, you
could destroy me---I wouldn't care.

As you wish, you may destroy me
---I wouldn't care."

123
456
789

Using these numbers, derive the four-digit passcode from this riddle.

I'm such a Prick...

2008-11-24T22:32:00.000-08:00

I just hate myself right now, but what makes this time special? Someone comes to me for guidance, to tell me about his problems but I was a total asshole and basically blamed him for it all. You see, he's gay, and is having problems with his relationship. He thinks that he and his BF will break up soon and it's because of the fact that he (the guy I'm helping) cheated during the first month of dating. It all turns out that his boyfriend is still angry, irritated and a bit embarrassed by it and wants to end the relationship. I tried my best to give a psychological point of view of WHY he's bringing it up now and didn't bring it up until recently... I basically kept going back to all the problems starting with the fact that he had cheated on him... It's true though, all the problems stem from that little thing...

Anyway, he started yelling at me and bringing stuff up because he figured that I was insulting him... I kind of was, but not to be mean you know? He says that if they do end up breaking up he'd wait only a few weeks until jumping right into another relationship; which I think is a very bad idea... I do recall him telling me that he would like the freedoms of being single again but why would he want to jump right into another relationship if he wants to be single?

Blogger doesn't suck...

2008-11-13T23:37:00.000-08:00

I've just been updating my other blogs, which is only like two others. I also have a livejournal, and a myspace blog. I've been updating my Myspace blog with political opinions and stuff, so if you happen to have caught my blog on here that stated my Myspace ID then you should add me as a friend and check them out!

America is NOT a fucking church

2008-11-08T14:47:00.000-08:00

Seriously. All the religious idiots who try to impose THEIR lifestyle on the majority of people are dumb asses. I'm sick of all this shit where if one is not apart of a christian sector, they are damned to hell. WHO GIVES A FUCK?! I make my choice to not support such ideologies because they are FLAWED. Why should I live by a doctrine that promotes hate? Those who say it doesn't should go fuck themselves, seriously. You see religious assholes standing on corners, ABORTION CAUSES CANCER, GAYS GO TO HELL, YOU WILL GO TO HELL IF YOU DON'T SUPPORT JESUS... I'm sick of it. All you idiots who believe that everyone should 'love' your God, should love your beliefs, it's time for you to shove it.

What really sets me off is that stupid Proposition 8. I could have sworn that Religion is not supposed to be involved in any sort of politics? What the hell was the fucking Mormon church doing giving millions of dollars to YES on Prop 8??

I don't want to sound extreme, but I'm tired of this. It's time that people stand up against those oppressive, pompous, idiotic people, and fight hate with hate. So the next time I see some idiot standing with a sign saying that I'm going to hell, I'm going to punch him/her in the face.

The Christian God says to not pass judgement on others - that's exactly what they are doing!

Warmth of Your Arms...

2008-11-02T13:07:00.000-08:00

Love is something a person can't control right? How does one know if he/she is in love? Is it the excitement one might get when the person calls him/her and talk for four hours? Is it when one thinks a large chunk of the day about what it would feel like if the person would simply hold him/her in his/her arms?

I feel more and more melancholy as days pass by. I can't stop thinking about it... Did I make a mistake? Is it far too late now?

Fire Inside.... ?

2008-10-19T21:09:00.000-07:00

Hm. I haven't written for awhile. It's not because I hate blogger, but because I haven't had a reason to blog. It's been rather neutral for awhile around me. Not so much to blog about, so there's no reason to.

I bought a bunch of DVD's, My Spanish Coach for DS, Pokemon Platinum and Resident Evil 3 to keep myself occupied. So far it's all working, I'm not so bored. I've also been downloading a lot more lately. Thank god for torrents! Boy, if you don't know what those are, you had best look them up!

Anyway, I found a spell to help protect good health. I plan on using it for when I hang out with my friends on Halloween. We all need good health, and well, I want it.

Spell To Protect Good Health

Light a red candle. Say:

I invoke Gangida, great protector!
May we look after your treasures,
as our bodies are your treasures!

Light a black candle. Say:

Nullify disease as it approaches this body
Arm my blood with guards To slay all intruders!

Light a green candle. Say:

Gangida, grant protection
from all imbalances in the heavens,
from the earth, from plants, from air;
from my past and from my future.
Protect me from east to south,
from west to north!
May my body be rendered healthy
under Gangida's protection!

Days...

2008-10-08T22:11:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have been without internet, but that hasn't stopped drama!

1. I ate some cheese that we bought the other day and guess what? I got Salmonella Poisoning! It sucks! I feel so weak and tired right now... I have one of the serious symptoms, but I can't go to the doctor... I'll just keep drinking liquids and trying to rest... Jeez, I love cheese... How could it do this to me?

2. The Ouija Board! Holy cow! The other day I was playing it with my mom and I think we encountered a powerful demon! The entire room like sank 10 degrees and it was getting really cold. I felt slight pressure on my arm ( as if someone was touching me) and a powerful draft. My mom was getting creeped out so I told her that if it answers "Yes" or doesn't answer we'll stop playing. She said okay, and I asked it if it was a demon. I got no response. Previously it was very response and everything. So we told it goodbye and moved it to goodbye, and then it stopped moving. It felt as if something VERY strong was pushing on it, like it wasn't ready to stop talking. I mean it was intense, the pressure of that thing! We managed to get it off of the board, and I turned on the light... Immediately the temperature went back to normal...

Knowing me though, I wanted to keep playing it. It intrigued me, I need someone to play it with me when I encounter those things... It's so fascinating, I really want to talk to it again.

License, School, and feelings...

2008-09-19T14:37:00.000-07:00

I finally went and got my license today. I've been driving around for a little bit and it's a good feeling that I can take myself places without having to worry about a ride. :D I went to the YMCA today and worked out for a little bit, and then I went back to my High school to visit my old teachers.

The guy at front didn't want to let me in though, well at first. After awhile he allowed it and I got in. I was shocked to see that my picture was on a wall along with all the 2007 Graduates from the school; what a memory it was. I forgot how the school was and everything. There are a lot of things different but it has the same feeling. I loved hanging out with friends and stuff, now a lot of my old friends are scattered, away... I'm glad that a lot of my really good friends are still around though. :D

I visited with my teaches for about 10 minutes and then I left. Boring huh? Not really, I was able to get out of the house which is always good I suppose. :)

\\

Although all is well, I feel pretty sad though. From seeing all the pictures from everyone on the plaque, I know that a lot of them probably won't be alive for the 10 year reunion. I know it's weird that I'm sad about that - there was a lot of people I didn't even know... But hopefully all can show up, along with all my friends. :)

Yikes - School is back!

2008-09-18T02:07:00.000-07:00

Sigh... I knew this day will come sooner or later, and well it's going to be here next Monday. I feel okay about it, but I have really enjoyed doing a whole lot of nothing the last couple of months. :D

I went to get my books the other day, and it all came to a hefty 502 dollars; thank hell financial aid paid for it. Anyway, I'd have to say that my total weight for the books are about 30 pounds... Plus or minus 5 pounds. It's freaking heavy, but good thing that I only need to bring in certain books on certain days.

Every Thursday I have to go to Ontario, OR for two labs. Hopefully my carpool ride will still give me that ride. If my older brother doesn't let me use his car, in case my carpool doesn't work out, then I'm totally screwed. I finally passed my license test, so I sure as hell need a car to drive! My carpooler said that I will have to drive every so often when she's too tired to - I have no problem with that.

I just hope I still have a ride!

Found out what a Nullo was!

2008-09-11T00:38:00.000-07:00

HOLY FUCK! I've read some crazy ass thing before in my life, but Jesus!

I found a story on the internet just browsing through yahoo questions and came across this answer about a nullo. I didn't know what it was, but someone posted a link to the story I read and it was about y about a guy who basically gets castrated... He was a gay guy, but god... The shit that was told in that interview was so disgusting and disturbing... I got dizzy and stuff after reading it! I had to stop myself half way through it because, well, any normal person would have to!

I'll post the full story here, but god... It's sick!

Questioner: I hope you won’t be offended if I ask you to prove to me that you’re a nullo. Just so that our readers will know that this isn’t a fake.

Mark: Sure, no problem. (stands and unbuckles pants and drops them to his ankles, revealing a smooth, shaven crotch with only a thin scar to show where his genitals once were).

Q: Thank you. That’s a remarkable sight.

(laughs and pulls pants back up). Most people think so.

Q: What made you decide to become a nullo?

(pauses). Well, it really wasn’t entirely my decision.

Q: Excuse me?

The idea wasn’t mine. It was my lover’s idea.

Q: Please explain what you mean.

Okay, it’s a long story. You have to understand my relationship with Scott before you’ll know what happened.

Q: We have plenty of time. Please go on.

Both of us were into the leather lifestyle when we met through a personal ad. Scott’s ad was very specific: he was looking for someone to completely dominate and modify to his pleasure. In other word, a slave.

The ad intrigued me. I had been in a number of B&D scenes and also some S&M, but I found them unsatisfying because they were all temporary. After the fun was over, everybody went on with life as usual.

I was looking for a complete life change. I wanted to meet someone who would be part of my life forever. Someone who would control me and change me at his whim.

Q: In other words, you’re a true masochist.

Oh yes, no doubt about that. I’ve always been totally passive in my sexual relationships.

Anyway, we met and there was instant chemistry. Scott is a few years older than me and very good looking. Our personalities meshed totally. He’s very dominant.

I went back to his place after drinks and had the best sex of my life. That’s when I knew I was going to be with Scott for a long, long time.

Q: What sort of things did you two do?

It was very heavy right away. He restrained me and whipped me for quite awhile. He put clamps on my nipples and a ball gag in my mouth. And he hung a ball bag on my sack with some very heavy weights. That bag really bounced around when Scott fucked me from behind.

Q: Ouch.

(laughs) Yeah, no kidding. At first I didn’t think I could take the pain, but Scott worked me through it and after awhile I was flying. I was sorry when it was over.

Scott enjoyed it as much as I did. Afterwards he talked about what kind of a commitment I’d have to make if I wanted to stay with him.

Q: What did he say exactly?

Well, besides agreeing to be his slave in every way, I’d have to be ready to be modified. To have my body modified.

Q: Did he explain what he meant by that?

Not specifically, but I got the general idea. I guessed that something like castration might be part of it.

Q: How did that make you feel?

(laughs) I think it would make any guy a little hesitant.

Q: But it didn’t stop you from agreeing to Scott’s terms?

No it didn’t. I was totally hooked on this man. I knew that I was willing to pay any price to be with him.

Anyway, a few days later I moved in with Scott. He gave me the rules right away: I’d have to be naked at all times while we were indoors, except for a leather dog collar that I could never take off. I had to keep my head shaved. And I had to wear a butt plug except when I needed to take a shit or when we were having sex.

I had to sleep on the floor next to his bed. I ate all my food on the floor, too.

The next day he took me to a piercing parlor where he had my nipples done, and a Prince Albert put into the head of my cock.

Q: Heavy stuff.

Yeah, and it got heavier. He used me as a toilet, pissing in my mouth. I had to lick his asshole clean after he took a shit, too. It was all part of a process to break down any sense of individuality I had. After awhile, I wouldn’t hesitate to do anything he asked.

Q: Did the sex get rougher?

Oh God, yeah. He started fisting me every time we had sex. But he really started concentrating on my cock and balls, working them over for hours at a time.

He put pins into the head of my cock and into my sack. He attached clothespins up and down my cock and around my sack. The pain was pretty bad. He had to gag me to keep me from screaming.

Q: When did the idea of nullification come up?

Well, it wasn’t nullification at first. He started talking about how I needed to make a greater commitment to him, to do something to show that I was dedicated to him for life.

When I asked him what he meant, he said that he wanted to take my balls.

Q: How did you respond?

Not very well at first. I told him that I liked being a man and didn’t want to become a eunuch. But he kept at me, and wore me down. He reminded me that I agreed to be modified according to his wishes, and this is what he wanted for me. Anything less would show that I wasn’t really committed to the relationship. And besides, I was a total bottom and didn’t really need my balls.

It took about a week before I agreed to be castrated. But I wasn’t happy about it, believe me.

Q: How did he castrate you?

Scott had a friend who was into the eunuch scene. One night he came over with his bag of toys, and Scott told me that this was it. I was gonna lose my nuts then and there.

Q: Did you think of resisting?

I did for a minute, but deep down I knew there was no way. I just didn’t want to lose Scott. I’d rather lose my balls.

Scott’s friend restrained me on the living room floor while Scott videotaped us. He used an elastrator to put a band around my sack.

Q: That must have really hurt.

Hell yeah. It’s liked getting kicked in the balls over and over again. I screamed for him to cut the band off, but he just kept on going, putting more bands on me. I had four bands around my sack when he finished.

I was rolling around on the floor screaming, while Scott just videotaped me. Eventually, my sack got numb and the pain subsided. I looked between my legs and could see my sack was a dark purple. I knew my balls were dying inside.

Scott and his friend left the room and turned out the light. I lay there for hours, crying because I was turning into a eunuch and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

Q: What happened then?

Eventually I fell asleep from exhaustion. Then the light switched on and I could see Scott’s friend kneeling between my legs, touching my sack. I heard him tell Scott that my balls were dead.

Q: How did Scott react?

Very pleased. He bent down and felt around my sack. He said that it felt cold.

Scott’s friend told me that I needed to keep the bands on. He said that eventually my balls and sack would dry up and fall off. I just nodded. What else could I do at that point?

Q: Did it happen just like Scott’s friend said?

Yeah, a week or so later my package just fell off. Scott put it in a jar of alcohol to preserve it. It’s on the table next to his bed.

Q: How did things go after that?

Scott was really loving to me. He kept saying how proud he was of me, how grateful that I had made the commitment to him. He even let me sleep in his bed.

Q: What about the sex?

We waited awhile after my castration, and then took it easy until I was completely healed. At first I was able to get hard, but as the weeks went by my erections began to disappear.

That pleased Scott. He liked fucking me and feeling my limp cock. It made his dominance over me even greater.

Q: When did he start talking about making you a nullo?

A couple of months after he took my nuts. Our sex had gotten to be just as rough as before the castration. He really got off on torturing my cock. Then he started saying stuff like, “Why do you even need this anymore?”

That freaked me out. I always thought that he might someday take my balls, but I never imagined that he’d go all the way. I told him that I wanted to keep my dick.

Q: How did he react to that?

At first he didn’t say much. But he kept pushing. Scott said I would look so nice being smooth between my legs. He said my dick was small and never got hard anymore, so what was the point of having it.

But I still resisted. I wanted to keep my cock. I felt like I wouldn’t be a man anymore without it.

Q: So how did he get you to agree?

He didn’t. He took it against my will.

Q: How did that happen?

We were having sex in the basement, and I was tied up and bent over this wooden bench as he fucked me. Then I heard the doorbell ring. Scott answered it, and he brought this guy into the room.

At first I couldn’t see anything because of the way I was tied. But then I felt these hands lift me up and put me on my back. And I could see it was Steve’s friend, the guy who took my nuts.

Q: How did you react?

I started screaming and crying, but the guy just gagged me. The two of them dragged me to the other side of the room where they tied me spread eagled on the floor.

Steve’s friend snaked a catheter up my dick, and gave me a shot to numb my crotch. I was grateful for that, at least. I remember how bad it hurt to lose my balls.

Q: What was Steve doing at this time?

He was kneeling next to me talking quietly. He said I’d be happy that they were doing this. That it would make our relationship better. That kind of calmed me down. I thought, “Well, maybe it won’t be so bad.”

Q: How long did the penectomy take?

It took awhile. Some of the penis is inside the body, so he had to dig inside to get all of it. There was a lot of stitching up and stuff. He put my cock in the same jar with my balls. You can even see the Prince Albert sticking out of the head.

Then they made me a new pisshole. It’s between my asshole and where my sack used to be. So now I have to squat to piss.

Q: What has life been like since you were nullified?

After I got over the surgery and my anger, things got better. When I healed up, I began to like my smooth look. Steve brought friends over and they all admired it, saying how pretty I looked. It made me feel good that Steve was proud of me.

Q: Do you have any sexual feeling anymore?

Yes, my prostate still responds when Steve fucks me or uses the buttplug. And my nipples are quite sensitive. If Steve plays with them while fucking me, I have a kind of orgasm. It’s hard to describe, but it’s definitely an orgasm.

Sometimes Steve says he’s gonna have my prostate and nipples removed, but he’s just kidding around. He’s happy with what he’s done to me.

Q: So are you glad Steve had you nullified?

Well, I wouldn’t say I’m glad. If I could, I’d like to have my cock and balls back. But I know that I’m a nullo forever. So I’m making the best of it.

Steve and I are very happy. I know that he’ll take care of me and we’ll be together always. I guess losing my manhood was worth it to make that happen for us.

Jesus! I still feel freaking sick after that... WTF is wrong with people?

10 Ways to Boost Your Psychic Abilities

2008-09-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

I found these browsing around the internet, and they look very promising.

1. Whenever the telephone rings, close your eyes and visualize the person who is calling. Then pick up the phone and discover if you’re right. Your accuracy will improve dramatically as you practice this exercise, and this exercise may help you develop your clairvoyant abilities in addition to intuition and precognition.

2. When you stand in line at the bank, tell yourself which teller will serve you. This exercise is similar to the first, but you can see your “target." This exercise helps you develop your intuition and your ability to psychically connect with others who are in close proximity.

3. When you watch a sporting event, tell yourself the outcome before the event begins. As you develop skill with this exercise, expand to predicting more statistics such as scores or top 5 placements in racing or judged events. This exercise helps you develop your intuition, precognition, and clairvoyance. Do not misuse this skill for personal gain, such as gambling, or you will likely lose your skill entirely.

4. Have a friend roll a dice. Begin by calling “even" or “odd" before the dice is thrown your accuracy will increase with practice. Expand to call the number the dice will land on. This exercise helps you develop your intuition, precognition and clairvoyance (specifically your ability to see numbers).

5. Work with a friend and a standard deck of playing cards. Begin by predicting black or red, and then have your friend turn over the top card of the deck. Your accuracy will improve with practice. When your accuracy is 80% or greater, expand to predict the suit, and later, the number or face of the card as well. This exercise boosts your intuition, precognition, and clairvoyance (specifically colours and shapes).

6. When you’re riding an elevator and another passenger joins you, tell yourself which button they’ll press. This exercises helps you develop your intuition, precognition, clairvoyance (number recognition), telepathy, and your ability to connect with others psychically.

7. In the morning, write down the names of people you will have important interactions or communications with that day. Don’t rely on logic. Clear your mind and allow faces or names to come to you naturally. Trust it and write it down. Using this exercise regularly will significantly improve your accuracy.

8. When in line at the movies, tell yourself which movie the person or group ahead of you will request (if you overhear them say it, try again another time!). This exercise helps you improve your intuition concerning the intentions, preferences and actions of others, and it can lead to developing telepathy and empathy.

9. When you have a meeting or appointment, tell yourself the colour of clothing the other person will be wearing before you meet. (This does not work for all people or situations. For example, you can reasonably assume a doctor will be wearing white, or you may know someone always wears a particular colour.) This exercise improves your clairvoyant abilities and could help you develop remote viewing skills as well.

10. Ask three friends a question (such as “what did you eat for breakfast?" or “where do you want to go on your next vacation?") Before you ask your questions, your friends must decide amongst themselves which one will answer falsely, and you must write down which friend will answer falsely. Then you ask your question and listen to each friend reply. Show them the name you wrote down before you asked the question. This exercise helps you develop intuition, precognition and can lead to developing telepathy. This skill is especially valuable in life the ability to recognize deception and even predict it can make your life, and the lives of many others, much smoother.

Still No Update...

2008-09-03T09:45:00.000-07:00

I really don't have anything to update everyone with - sorry. I guess when I attend classes again I will be able to really add stuff... So as a type of update I took a blogthings quiz about being more capitalist or more socialist...

Here's my results!

You Are 0% Capitalist, 100% Socialist

You see a lot of injustice in the world, and you'd like to see it fixed.

As far as you're concerned, all the wrong people have the power.

You're strongly in favor of the redistribution of wealth - and more protection for the average person.

Are You a Socialist or Capitalist?

My Birthday

2008-08-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

Well I meant to post this before my birthday but I never got around to it.

It was pretty cool. All of my close friends got to attend and they got a long well with eachother. We talked, watched funny clips on the internet and ate food. A small portion of my family came, and they were : Aunt Sandy, Uncle Fritz, Patrick, and Amy. I was saddened to not see Estella or Daisy but I don't know. The party officially ended at 2:00 am where Jake and Aaron were watching Roseanne with me, and then they realized that they needed to go home!

Does it feel different being 19? Nope, not at all... In fact I feel exactly the same. I think that I will feel different when I turn 21 because, well, I can buy booze. Eh, I doubt I will though. When I turned 18 I didn't buy cigarettes and smoke them!

Well my birthday was yesterday on the 22nd, thanks for saying Happy Birthday!

Resident Evil: Degeneration

2008-08-23T21:28:00.000-07:00

So finally a Resident Evil movie without Paul Anderson! It's time for all Resident Evil fans all over the world to jump up and down with glee and excitement! I know I did when I found out that Capcom is actually involved in the making of this film. I hope it comes out to theatres because, well, the other ones did and this IS actually Resident Evil. I hope it's as good as the trailer shows, I doubt it will disappoint everyone, well except those who have loved the Paul Anderson movies/ or haven't played the games...

THE TRAILER!!

Pokemon Wondercards

2008-08-20T04:58:00.000-07:00

These are from a site called Jessikiel, and I figured I'd post them here with their credits. These are the wondercards to many of the events that people miss. They are the ACTUAL WONDERCARDS, they aren't hacked or anything, but the codes are for an action replay in which the wondercard gets activated. It gives one the legit Pokemon, and the Pokemon aren't hacked at all -it's the real legit/legal Pokemon but the method is different in which one receives them. I think that the only hack thing about it is that an AR is used to give the wondercard Pokemon - that's it!

Press L+R to activate. Walk into a PokeMart and talk to the guy in green by the counter to pick up your pokemon. Repeat as many times as you’d like. MAKE SURE YOU ONLY HAVE ONE OF THESE TURNED ON AT A TIME OR IT MAY SCREW UP YOUR GAME.

Jirachi This is the Tanabata Jirachi given away on 07/07/07.

Jirachi (JAPAN, Tanabata)
94000130 FCFF0000
B21C4D28 00000000
B0000004 00000000
0000AA3C EDB88320
E000AA68 00000104
00010001 00000001
00000001 EC3A0000
E865B6BB 72ED4341
03D29FF8 08D22206
42C020BA 56CCAFC4
0416DD94 D0203BB4
1DCBD633 B3E76338
C844BAAA 0C2D4B24
2AF8D3C7 C1F6E078
26A23B83 2081F664
490B1198 A0BD27BA
F39DE386 5A992A88
428DA6A2 24512345
BE80DD60 C96BC935
F8EBD8CC 42ADA7F7
55EE08A9 261A3E36
F3419032 FD92DEC7
D4D05828 D769D537
AC2141C6 1FAED2EB
B6B879FA 37B64AF7
DE460C22 92F95736
22317837 D4E459C1
82413E98 FF91B194
3CD5D027 02E7D2AB
9924107D D7934469
742B3167 A857A728
138B2BCE 26D8ABF6
975673D6 C1B333EB
D8372D49 062303D5
EEB0FDA5 0AB9A8B3
474E9945 00000000
00004000 00000000
00000000 00000000
D2000000 00000000

Manaphy This is the movie Manaphy given away at ToysRUs on 09/29/07.

Manaphy (US, Toys-R-Us)
94000130 FCFF0000
B21C4D28 00000000
B0000004 00000000
0000AA3C EDB88320
E000AA68 00000104
00020001 00000001
00000001 40180000
CE53BFD8 C99EE939
D571952A 5E70CCC0
7178FF67 5B9E8033
00994998 DB231297
58DF05D8 7F60FFED
7C861D83 7922EE0D
BC934429 56A6C5BB
34FB9FAE AE9BC17B
D10BD51E 49B7C903
5E9EA2C7 A89EB76B
3F2AA169 A2AD7256
A8DFBC8F EF69C38F
B4D869C3 73EE1BB5
382833F8 88B03E22
E5C5EABC 32D8AB55
235E7020 E4CF4CC4
AC2141C6 1F17D2DC
B6DB7943 37D04AA4
DE200C44 92F95736
22317837 D4E459C1
82413E98 FF91B194
3CD5D027 02E7D2AB
A05E107D D5434469
742B3167 A857A728
138B2BCE 26D8ABF6
975673D6 C1B333EB
D8372D49 062303D5
EEB0FDA5 0AB9A8B3
474E9945 00000000
00004000 00000000
00000000 00000000
D2000000 00000000

DarkraiThis is the movie Darkrai given away at ToysRUs on 05/31/08.

Darkrai (US, Toys-R-Us)
94000130 FCFF0000
B21C4D28 00000000
B0000004 00000000
0000AA3C EDB88320
E000AA68 00000104
00030001 00000001
00000001 6BC90000
B1638690 E34BD7CC
53909B4F 5B52AD56
87F60BD3 601B9743
6CD03C93 7492FFF9
8EEC43E6 1FA5DC6C
FA8857D2 88366A26
A6195BCB 0EC4CEF8
4E780F23 A6E9F710
6C36ED3D 021890CA
85D3A414 95F538D8
63C476F0 2BDFF8D5
4B73D168 A82A1370
A8EEFAC5 26C1B095
ABD990EE 1C6DA1A2
C1290181 85BFAB22
CA5F6E4A 8CBAAB40
AC2141C6 1F35D2DC
B6C07961 373B4AAF
DE160CA1 92F95736
22317837 D4E459C1
82413E98 FF91B194
3CD5D027 02E7D2AB
E1D6107D 8C1A4469
742B3167 A857A728
138B2BCE 26D8ABF6
975673D6 C1B333EB
D8372D49 062303D5
EEB0FDA5 0AB9A8B3
474E9945 00000000
00004000 00000000
00000000 00000000
D2000000 00000000

DeoxysThis is the Deoxys given away at GameStop on 06/21/08.

Deoxys (US, GameStop)
94000130 FCFF0000
B21C4D28 00000000
B0000004 00000000
0000AA3C EDB88320
E000AA68 00000104
00010001 00000001
00000001 65FD0000
6BEA3C6E 85B0F262
32466C7C 5D293339
6F826E44 D75FFB2C
4B00B179 1D2FCA0C
E68C157B 20BD1E85
B429CA32 84B39889
379BC28F 0903AD15
BD51D8A3 D7CA6DB3
3B0B8801 250D2426
8ACF1CF3 DD82D82E
0E4C639A 801DAC7D
23CC7D64 194702EF
9CE18F30 CB5C788D
ED2EA724 50650C08
176815B6 AE2E8C4E
64DCE7B3 825AAC18
AC2141C6 1FD9D2DC
B602798D 37224ACB
DE7E0CB6 92F95736
22317837 D4E459C1
82413E98 FF91B194
3CD5D027 02E7D2AB
1445107D DC0A4469
742B3167 A857A728
138B2BCE 26D8ABF6
975673D6 C1B333EB
D8372D49 062303D5
EEB0FDA5 0AB9A8B3
474E9945 00000000
00004000 00000000
00000000 00000000
D2000000 00000000

Regigigas This is the Movie Regigigas given away on 06/20/08.

Regigigas (JAPAN, Pokemon Movie)
94000130 FCFF0000
B21C4D28 00000000
B0000004 00000000
0000AA3C EDB88320
E000AA68 00000104
00010001 00000001
00000001 48100000
CFC7E395 9713AB41
1943B677 CD7A1274
DB89500F B3866966
AA98E22C 8791C6FC
2B5D7048 91D4EF54
4A3B7BED D7AAF34A
AEDDFF58 F2388F91
155AD324 C5CFE3BE
712EA7CD 3930BD4C
473D263B 11D15214
7ED548C1 6CA99BCD
4F2ABB71 409AF316
E254112E 648103AB
FB2DF0DB AEF7DD45
95DA732E E0ED98FC
F9006057 38138D63
AC2141C6 1EFDD28A
B7CD78A9 37744A30
DEA80C88 92F95736
22317837 D4E459C1
82413E98 FF91B194
3CD5D027 02E7D2AB
D3DE107D DD1B4469
742B3167 A857A728
138B2BCE 26D8ABF6
975673D6 C1B333EB
D8372D49 062303D5
EEB0FDA5 0AB9A8B3
474E9945 00000000
00000000 00000000
00000000 00000000
D2000000 00000000

Shaymin This is the Movie Shaymin given away on 07/19/08.

Shaymin (JAPAN, Pokemon Movie '08)
94000130 FCFF0000
B21C4D28 00000000
B0000004 00000000
0000AA3C EDB88320
E000AA68 00000104
00010001 00000001
00000001 04380000
07A87D77 9B7878FB
AC5E54DB 56E166DF
AEDB6322 62B93B97
89D35ABB 7B2C076A
5A386B7A A7C8B6A0
D1FEB23F 537CDFC9
E75EA395 150751A3
0E8DFAE4 4790EE3A
036A96FA 5FC16E37
2696EA01 9C374B2B
9A0584D3 8B9756DE
3CDBC0F2 D6ABCDE3
13FDBE37 DCAC0638
71C8EAE2 EA9BC19B
B2B6D877 DE1FEBE5
8456774A 8C3F9838
AC2141C6 1F17D2DC
B6DB7943 37D04AA4
DE200C44 92F95736
22317837 D4E459C1
82413E98 FF91B194
3CD5D027 02E7D2AB
8078107D D5834469
742B3167 A857A728
138B2BCE 26D8ABF6
975673D6 C1B333EB
D8372D49 062303D5
EEB0FDA5 0AB9A8B3
474E9945 00000000
00004000 00000000
00000000 00000000
D2000000 00000000

In This Life...

2008-08-14T17:22:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad that the Summer Quarter is finally, officially over. It has been pretty hectic but I managed to pull through and succeed. So far I know that I have passed my Mathematics class and I will find out the rest of my grades by next week. I get a month off, and it's going to be great. I'm just going to relax and find myself once again. The next quarter begins on September 22nd, and well when that starts up, I will start stressing again.
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So yesterday I was clumsy. I knocked a cup of water over my laptop. Luckily it's not damaged or anything. I quickly turned it off and laid it on its side to drain the rest of the water. At first when I tried to turn it on later the computer would turn on but it wouldn't stay on. Then the computer asked if it could run a repair tool and that fixed my problem. No more drinking water or any liquids around my computer! I'm glad that it's okay now, but I have to be more careful.
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I have found a song that I absolutely love! It's by an amazing artist by the name of Delta Goodrem, and the song is called "In This Life", it's absolutely amazing. She has a wonderful voice, but she can't compare to my Amy. :)

Here's a video of the song!

I'm a hypocrite...

2008-08-10T22:53:00.000-07:00

So today I gave in... I ate meat... I KNOW what you're thinking, god... I can't believe I did it...

After the first few months of being a vegetarian I used to crave meat, but then it disappeared and never came back. That was two years ago... Now it's back and stronger than ever... I saw an eggroll and basically inhaled the thing without even thinking about what I was doing... I let my morality fail and gave in... I feel guilty and everything, but what can I do? Throw it up? It probably wouldn't be a good thing...

I must say though that it destroyed my current craving. I remember why I stopped now, not just because of the animals, but because IT IS NOT EVEN THAT GOOD! I hate eating it... I guess it's a good thing that I did it, to prove to myself that it's not even worth it. It's not even that good, and I'm going to stick with being a vegetarian. I'm not going to give into my body's needs in order to feel better - I don't need to. When I did eat meat I was horrendously overweight and unhappy. Being a vegetarian helps me take control of the problem and even out...

I'm glad for being a vegetarian and I am going to continue with it.

PS. Does this happen to a lot of vegetarians?

We'll be lost Before The Dawn...

2008-08-08T15:40:00.000-07:00

This song is for the person who has stolen my heart... The one who I can't imagine not having in my life.. This is for you. ^^

Before The Dawn

Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you
I want nothing more than to see you there
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn

If only night can hold you where i can see you, my love
Then let me never ever wake again
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn

somehow i know that we cant wake again from this dream
it's not real, but it's ours

Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn

Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away
We'll be lost before the dawn

Two Girls 1 Cup - Grandma Reaction

2008-08-04T23:38:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen the two girls and 1 cup video, I recommend that you do not watch it! Of course like most people in general, they will become curious and then look it up... Anyway, this has to be the funniest reaction I have ever seen in my life... Okay, well this girl sets up her grandmother to watch this horrendously disgusting video of these two gals, and she tapes her grandmother's reaction. I have to say, this is some funny crap! Watch it!

WR 122 - Causal Argument, "Media Violence Should Not Be Blamed"

2008-07-29T10:53:00.000-07:00

Violence in the everyday media has changed over the years. Things that one couldn’t even imagine being able to view 30 years ago are now on all the time. Some people have the belief that violence in any form of media will cause a person who is watching it to want to do the things that they see. What they do not realize is that usually when a person has done a crime based on ‘seeing it’ on television, there are other deeper, darker problems that may have set that person off. The media shouldn’t be blamed for violence, the person who commits the violence should.

A man on television did an interesting broadcast on the release of Grand Theft Auto 4, claiming that it will cause children who play it to believe that it’s okay to murder people, steal cars, make deals with the mob, and pick up prostitutes. In all reality, the only thing it will make children think is that if they do all those things they will go to jail; which in the game does happen. Saying it causes violence is false, if a person sees this and then does it, it’s because that person has violent tendencies. There was a report once about 4 teenagers who had played one of the Grand Theft Autos and they robbed a convenient store, stole cars, and attempted to run over a police officer. One cannot say it was because they played the game, but because they probably already had criminal records, and seeing the game made them want to do it. The game didn’t make them do it, they chose to do it.

The news media in the United States is far more conservative when it comes to what it shows. Very rarely will one see a person dying, or even someone getting brutally attacked. Unlike in Europe, where they show images of explosions, people dying, and nudity. When the Madrid Subway Bombing occurred images of the explosions and people dying were plastered all over TV screens throughout Europe. Could this explain the massive outpouring of support for terrorism in Europe by some Europeans? Seeing death and destruction for some people causes excitement, and the want to commit the same atrocity. People have the evil in them to cause violent crimes, whether or not the news outlets show death and destruction, some people don’t even need images to prepare themselves for doing things to others.

There was an article claiming that the United States and its citizens believe that violence is the only way to solve problems and that seeing violent images is what everyone prefers, that the evil that people do to each other is attributed by only the cinema, and the media and videogames. The Virginia Tech murderer had psychological problems; he did not kill because he watched Halloween, or because he played Resident Evil. He killed because he had psychological problems that had been foreseen by his instructors months before the massacre eve happened. One person argued that showing that he killed all those people is enough to cause the many ‘loose cannons’ in this country to see that they too can get this kind of publicity.

One person has said that a person who watches or, ‘absorbs’ as she put it, too much television that it will cause ‘harmful effects”. Sure too much television is never a good thing, but by claiming that if a person basically watches it, it’s bad. It’s obvious that whoever had written that article doesn’t watch too much television because if she did, then she’d see the hundreds of educational programs that are offered. Watching TV, whether it’s good or bad, teaches a person something. A person might learn that it’s wrong to talk back to his or her parent, that it’s okay to hug a friend or speak when they are being made fun of. Saying that it’s harmful to watch even educational programs isn’t very intelligent.

One cannot blame the media for such kind of violence that may have been copied from a media source. People are going to play video games, watch violent movies and many of them won’t even think about committing anything that they see. Violence is something that is learned, not that is seen on the TV screen. If a deranged person saw something on the airwaves then perhaps it was just fuel to set him off. A person just doesn’t wake up one day and assume that they will harm people based on what they have seen. There are deeper issues at hand… People have to be violent, in order to commit violent crimes.

New day, new blog

2008-07-28T11:26:00.000-07:00

Last night I got about 3 hours of sleep, eh more or less. I'm not even that tired but later I know that I will be exhausted! I didn't sleep last night for reasons that are unknown to me. I wasn't warm, I wasn't excited, and I wasn't hungry - although I did eat last night. :D

I watched Halloween - Unrated, director's cut... Which is very different than the one that I watched online... There were a lot of things that were cut out of the online version, while the version that I bought included what seemed like 20 minutes that I had never even seen. I think the version I watched was the deleted scenes - included in the film.

I get an entire month's break at the end of this quarter! That plus like 7 days. More than enough time to get my license and finally be able to drive. I'm just too afraid to call the person to make an appointment with them... I just don't like calling someone I don't know...

Breast Feeding... At 8???

2008-07-26T18:33:00.000-07:00

Some parents spoil their children a little too much in my opinion. There's should be like a universal, common law that says that people should stop at like 2 or so... It's not healthy...

Craving a book, Chris Crocker Leaves, Camden

2008-07-25T21:39:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple of days, I have been craving something. At first it was very difficult to discover what it was, but then I realized with shock... I NEED TO READ A BOOK!!! The only books I have read in the past 5 months were freaking college books, math books, and stuff I DID NOT WANT TO READ!!! I need to add fresh information for my brain... It's driving me nuts... I used to read all the freaking time and not having that freedom to just lay down in my bed and read a good novel is driving me nuts... I really cannot wait for my entire month break coming up! AUGUST 15 WILL BE MARKED ON MY CALENDER.... *Salivates*...

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So I logged into Youtube a few moments ago and saw that my subscription has been updated. Chris Crocker has stated that he is finally leaving youtube all together and will have his own website. I think it's great because if people don't like him, then they won't check out his site. He states that he's really looking forward to it, but my question is: Are all of his videos still going to exist on his youtube account? Or is he going to delete his account all together?

Chris Crocker Leaves!

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Camden... What a person he is. He's so amazing and so great. I wish I never turned him down, it's kind of weird that I even admit that I do like him. I don't feel embarrased for posting this, I don't think any of my friends are even going to read this. Anyway, he's so cute and he's such a good person - he just doesn't realize it. I love everything about him, and there's nothing I don't like. We have so much in common, we love the same movies, the same games, and the same a lot of things. He's dating a guy named Nick, and well I wish them the best. If anything does happen between them well I will be there to console Camden, (Not to become the new BF or anything) but to help him through the tough time. He deserves the best, and it's obvious that I am the best.

Chris Crocker is a dancer!

2008-07-24T06:43:00.000-07:00

Even my own words cannot express what these two videos say... Watch them for yourselves.

"Chris Crocker is Damaged"

"Chris Crocker - Britney, This is for you!"

Some People are just morons...

2008-07-22T16:48:00.000-07:00

Lol, so I was on Psypokes arguing with some conservative douchebag and well he made it seem as if he was a good little church boy. Anyway, I thought it'd be funny to check out his little blog somewhere and I have to say - what a hypocrite! All he does is cuss, wish people to die, and even threaten some people to their deaths. Pretty amusing I'd think, the mods at Psypokes got a bit angry because I was poking fun at his retarded religion...

People cannot call themselves Christian if they aren't Christ-like...

Here's his blog/website...

http://www.cobaltagent.com/index.html

Blogthings - What does your birthday mean?

2008-07-22T04:22:00.000-07:00

Your Birthdate: August 22

You tend to be understated and under appreciated.

You have a hidden force to do amazing things, doing them your own way.

People may see you as strange and shy, but they know little.

Your unconventional ways have more power than they (and even you) know.

Your strength: Standing up for what you know is true

Your weakness: You tend to be picky and rigid

Your power color: Silver

Your power symbol: Square

Your power month: April

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Update

2008-07-17T02:23:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged for a couple of days. Well there goes my goal of trying to blog everyday but I have been overly stressed with life and college. The homework is heavy, but I feel relieved enough now to write since it's all done. Right now I'm watching my favorite comedian, Kathy Griffin and contemplating putting my pillow and blanket into the dryer so I can go to bed. Recently the weather here in Idaho is relatively warm and slightly humid. I hate hot weather, it makes me sweat so much. That's the reason why I had to wash my pillow and blanket...

For some reason my room has been getting extremely hot. I swear to hell that it gets like 105 degrees in my room during the day. Having a fan in there makes it more tolerable, but it really just pushes around the hot hair back and forth... Sigh, hopefully this weather will cool down!

The Plot Thickens...

2008-07-13T12:05:00.000-07:00

So I was originally planning to blog about the crap load of homework that I currently have, but have decided that I'm going to write about the news that I recently discovered.

Well a few days ago I wrote my friend Sarah, whom I graduated with in '07. We've seen eachother a couple of times and we even ate at subway. Well that email I sent her came back yesterday and it was filled with information that I was very shocked to learn about. First off, she's a Mormon so she's supposed to have good intentions, niceness and modesty. Well she told me that she had sex before getting married, now is pregnant GOT married, (DIDN'T EVEN INVITE ME) and well has basically forgotten all about me.

I wouldn't have cared about those other things if she had told me around the time it started to happen. I feel as if we sort of lost our connection... It makes me sad to say this but she's a hypocrite. I don't even know if I can talk to her anymore. She hasn't spoken to me in more than 3 months and well she drops that bomb unto me... She used to be the person that I knew would follow her own beliefs, to not stray from them... I'm not religious but she's really lost her way now.

I don't give a shit if anyone says that I have no right to say anything - I don't care. I need sometime to think... To decide. Usually when people do this to me, and we're 'supposed' to be friends I don't fall back unto my friendship that we had. It's almost impossible to get my trust back, to become friends again. I can't even fucking think clearly...

Friendships are built on being able to tell eachother things, not totally ignore them as non-existent and expect someone to understand... I'm not that way, and I don't forgive someone for lying to herself. Never...

Why Internet Relationships Cannot Work

2008-07-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

I read in my Psychology book about internet relationships and was very impressed on why they can't work. Apparently to have a successful relationship a person has to be within a certain distance of the other person. Internet relationships are usually long distance so therefore aren't a 'real' relationship. It's called a 'romantic relationship', in which in reality there isn't any physical contact because of the distance factor. The distance thing also doesn't allow the two in the 'relationship' to actually test it out to see if it'll work because it's all based on dreams, 'future anticipations', and wanted outcomes - which in all reality is impossible. Usually romantic relationships only last for 6-12 months. However ones that do involve physical contact, similarities, and interests are the ones that can last a lifetime.

PS. I didn't copy anything out of the book and type it out here. It's all a personal interpretation of what was read.

Bigoted Pricks

2008-06-27T23:44:00.000-07:00

I'll let your formulate your own opinions about this prick asshole. I came across this on the Homosexuality Forum on the Psypoke Website.

This is just my opinion; but homosexuality is wrong. The parts weren't made to be compatible.
Most of the time their general demeanor just, to be frank, pisses me off. I don't mind them if they don't go around shouting, "I'm gay, i'm gay," at the top of their lungs, but the ones who openly show their sexuality make me mad.

I don't mind bisexuals though; at least they like the opposite sex.

Say my logic is flawed, I honestly don't care. It's my opinion, and if you don't like it get over it.

I just have to say that it's unbelievable how people are in this world... This is what I meant by my last blog... Why can't we live in a world where everyone gets along no matter their beliefs, orientation, or anything?! It really angers me, and saddens me at the same time...

A Past Viewing...

2008-06-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

I was just looking at a lot of my past postings and I must say.. What the hell? Two years really change a person, but jeez I changed a lot... I seriously believe now what my 10th grade English teacher told me that it's fun to look at your past writings and you will see how much you really have changed as a person. Yeah I was pretty amazed. I'm kind of creeped out to even look at my past journals from High School, back when I really didn't take my writing seriously.

WOW.... That's the only word for it... Wow...

Field of Innocence

2008-06-26T17:05:00.000-07:00

I've posted what this song means to me before, but never on this site.

This song is written by Amy Lee, and was sung by her many years ago. This song has the most meaning to me than any other song in the world. Why? Because the lyrics tell a story about a person having to grow up so fast, for so many reasons and that 'the sun felt so warm on his/her back but now it seems colder now'. Sometimes whenever I feel depressed about something... I remember this song, and it helps me a lot. I want to go back to knowing nothing, and believing in everything.

It's amazing what power this song holds. 'Where has my heart gone? Trapped in the eyes of a stranger. Oh I, I want to go back to believing in everything...' I know how many people say that they're glad for being an adult already. It could be partly of a tramatic childhood or even that they hated their childhood. I can say that my own wasn't perfect, but I didn't hate it. I loved being a child, where everything was so worry free... Without consequence and without anger... The sun did seem warmer then, but now it feels colder. Now that I've grown and am much more mature I find that there are many things in this world that aren't great...

There's so much hatred, sadness and evil in this world that it's horrible. I find myself almost everyday wondering how someone like me exists in such a world... Terrorism, bigotry and everything in between being so prevelant that it seems impossible for one to even consider making it into the real world unscathed.

'In the darkness of the storm lies an evil, and it is me.'

'I still remember'

College, Psychology, and blogging...

2008-06-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

So I've started back at college now for a total of 3 days. So far it's good, although since it's the summer course now everything is at a much faster pase because everything must be covered in such less of time. Everything is okay, but my math class is my evil 'speech' class this quarter. Speech last quarter was the most homework driven course, and now it's math. We've been given 4 assignments in math and they're all do on Monday. We also have a test over those assignments next week, although I don't know when.

My favourite class would happen to be Psychology. My instructor is amazing and she shares some of her personal experiences and her own wisdom with us as a class. Today was the most amazing class experiences so far. She explained the 'chair' method with getting people to express their feelings towards someone they can't speak to either because of a traumatic issue or that the other person is deceased. Anyway, she's a therapist but she teaches as a second job, so that's a reason why she went in depth today about the method. Which in my opinion was well explained and very interesting. I really look forward to continuing my education with this class and it's helping me to see that I have made the right to decision and I can't wait to learn more about people and of course myself.

So I've been blogging now for about 2 years. I haven't blogged everyday, but now that I've started to 'rediscover' my blog, I've been able to organize my thoughts and feelings. I love blogging, and it's going to be something that I will try to do even more often. I know it's like an addiction now, but not reading or playing videogames, but it's a level below. That doesn't mean that it's not important, it is, but it's difficult to get around to everyday when you lead a busy life.

L'amour comme il devrait être...

2008-06-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

Je me trouve, chaque jour dans une vie sans de l'amour... Je sais que je dis à tout le monde que je n'ai pas envie de le trouver... Mais avec une personne qui j'ai déjà dit 'non', pourquoi est-ce que je me demande s'il m'adore toujours? Il m'a dit qu'il m'adore un peu et il veut aller un jour en France pour visiter, avec moi (pendant des vacances). C'est comme je n'ai pas le courage de me dire que ce n'est possible...

Il est le copain d'un autre... Je ne devrais pas essayer d'être ça...

I have a Myspace!

2008-06-19T20:13:00.000-07:00

Haha, I really don't have a topic or anything to discuss today! So I thought I'd let any passer-byers know that I have a myspace account besides having such an awesome, well-read blog! Hmm, so yeah those who have one, and like the things I have to say ADD ME! Let me know though that you like what I say, or that we have something in common! Like I always say, it's good to meet people with similar interests, as it helps friendship to grow!

CLICK THE IMAGE TO GO TO MY MYSPACE!

Kathy Griffin - The Goddess of comedy

2008-06-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

, Yeah I've been meaning to write about the ever-so-wonderful Kathy Griffin. It's kind of funny though that I'd never really liked her until about maybe 2 months ago. I was watching one of her specials on Bravo and she was doing a standup comedy. I think it was called 'straight to hell', but anyway since then I've been hooked! She's so hilarious, and she really can cause controversy. I really can't see why people don't like her, she has an awesome personality and a sense of humour that not many people have nowadays.

My favourite comedian used to be Margaret Cho, but now she's second when compared to Kathy. I actually think Kathy has had much more publicity than Margaret has had. From Seinfeld to saying "suck it Jesus", Kathy really has made a career for herself. Don't get me wrong, I still love Margaret's amazingly 'gay' humour. Seriously, she's good, but I like Kathy a lot more.

So anyway, I was thinking about actually buying Kathy's comedy specials off of Amazon... Then I realise that I have other things I need, and want to buy.... I guess that I'll just have to add her specials to my list of things to buy and go through it much later.

A clip of Kathy telling British people that she's making a sex tape with Judi Dench!

Hectic week? Don't Think so!

2008-06-14T00:23:00.000-07:00

So lately I've been a little sick and achy. Jeez, I hate getting sick... I mean what kind of sicko would? It drains you out, makes you feel bad... And ew, makes you leak from your nose! I'm starting to feel better though; but my throat is still kind of hurting. Hopefully I'm fully better by tomorrow so I can enjoy my week off before I start my new quarter. Which reminds me! I need to look up my grades... YAY! I checked and I passed the class I thought I'd fail: Speech! I was so worried I'd fail that class. The sad thing though is none of my other grades have been posted UH!

Sigh, anyway. The day before yesterday my temp agency called me up and said that they had a one day job for me. I took it, mostly from pressure, but I think it was worth the 5 hours of stapling. For one, I made a new friend and two, stapling for 5 hours has to be the easiest job ever. Although staying in one position for 5 hours does get you kind of cramped up! My new friend's name is Ebony, I'm supposed to text her back and stuff but I didn't get around to it. I'll probably do it tomorrow.

Well that's the update! I'll probably get more in depth soon, as I like to write. Getting my feelings out there, even if no-one is reading, is still a great stress reliever. ^^

Love?

2008-06-09T18:40:00.000-07:00

Lately I've become overwhelmed with that 'excited' feeling whenever I think of someone... Why? I've told myself that even if I were to get together with somebody it would be in my own area code... Why do I feel so... In love? Is that the proper way to express it? I feel kind of embarrassed even talking about this subject because as most of my 'hometown' friends know, I'm very reserved and quiet. This person though... They have this thing about them that I cannot even express... I feel kind of envious that I even let them go.

What's sad is that this person lives on the otherside of the country, and that's why it couldn't...Wouldn't work. Could I just have been wrong... Did I give up something so true that I was too blind to even see it? I feel like I've lost something... How could I have let myself go like that? It's impossible to be in 'love' with someone so far away, but I think it can happen...

This person gave me a call for the first time about 2 weeks ago. It was pretty cool, to hear what they really sound like in real life. They admitted that I didn't sound like they 'thought' I would. I really do like it when they talk, it's pretty amazing... Although I know that I can't get 'involved' with this person because they are already with someone else... They deserve that person to love them. I obviously didn't because I was so oblivious and everything.

It's good though because we'd never really been 'involved' it was more like an internet thing, but I feel like I know them so well that it's so hard to explain. I was an idiot... STUPID ME! God, now I'm listening to these songs that explain everything and make it all so crystal clear... I gave up a chance, and now I'm too late... The 2 main songs that explain this to me that well are "Alone" by Avril Lavigne (I'm the one she's singing about), and "what hurts the most" Cascada's version (She's expressing how I feel)...

Talk about stupid of me... Sigh, I guess there's really nothing I can say or even do... I guess I should probably just let it go.... :(

Cascada's "What Hurts The Most":

The Amazing Chris Crocker!

2008-06-08T22:43:00.000-07:00

Well like most of the American population, I was introduced to Chris Crocker via his 'leave Britney alone' rant. Although I must say that when I first saw it I thought he was kind of weird... But I started watching his posts and came to realize that he's actually got some good points. Although he does seem controversial because of the fact that he's super androgynous, and also that he looks like a female (I was shocked about how much he does!) doesn't mean that he doesn't know his facts. He can express himself to a level where it does cause controversy, and he can piss people off. You seriously should've seen some of the retards posting 'anti-gay' comments just because of his large activism.

He's obviously a homosexual, so if you get offended by anything like that then don't leave hate or that you think it's wrong. I don't care what you think, take your bigotry and shove it! Anyway, he apparently enjoys video blogging much more than writing, although I don't think I could ever really video blog at all... I'm too self-conscious...

Well you could only get what I mean from watching a few of his videos. If you haven't seen his stuff before, don't be shocked. I admit that it's kind of weird at first, but you get used to it!

Interracial Relationships

2008-06-06T18:26:00.000-07:00

How come whenever I put my point-of-view out there about this subject I get called a racist. How can I be a racist for being half and half? It's actually kind of amusing for people to say 'well you're half, so you can't be against it'. Uh, well news flash did I CHOOSE to be half? Nope, therefore I can say that I don't like it. Being once race is the only way to be successfully assimilated into any culture. To be accepted completely in the American Culture you have to be white, and to be successful in the Mexican culture you have to be fairly brown-skinned. Well anyway, I'm going to state my opinion on the matter.

Could it be considered racist to get disgusted to see two different races together? Example, White-Black, Black-Hispanic, Hispanic-White etc. Whenever I do I can't help but get pissed off, but I don't even know why. I believe that if people were meant to mix breed then there wouldn't be a bunch of different races or anything right? God, I hate seeing people in these kinds of relationships, it's very irritating! I can't even imagine what to think! I see stupid banners across the internet promoting this kind of behaviour and I can't stand it! It's stupid, and personally kind of immoral. People should stick to their own races for their 'sexual desires'. Like the saying goes ' it's good for the couple, bad for the kids'.

I will only stand for one type of exception! If the person is dating a person someone within their 'category'. That's of course if they are mixed due to their parents. I could date perhaps a white person, or a hispanic person. BUT THAT IS IT! Nothing else because then I'd become a hypocrite and I don't see myself doing it anyway. DO THE SAME!

Silent Hill : Origins

2008-05-30T06:33:00.000-07:00

Well I finally picked up a copy of my favourite franchise. Ever since I found about it being ported over to the Ps2, I knew that I would have to get it to experience its fantastic gameplay (in which I expected because of the previous games). Anyway, it retains its level a creepiness to an extent. I love it! Personally, at first I thought it was a bit awkward. The game controls were a bit new, and slightly different than that of the other Playstation ones, but quickly I got a hang of it.

It utilises a new way of playing. In previous games you would only be allowed to enter "Nightmare Silent Hill" only via the means of a strange "siren" like sound. Now, you simply have to touch a mirror anywhere and you are automatically transported into the blood-filled, monster contained world. Although I must admit that this new way to get into the alternate world was strange, and kind of hard to get used to. Even as I approached the end of the game I still found it to be weird.

It introduces a new character by the name of Travis Grady. He's a truck driver and is on his way to Brahms for a quick stop. But he decides to cut through Silent Hill to save time, but finds himself pushing on the brakes as a young girl in a blue outfit walking out in front of his semi. He gets out of the truck and decides to follow the little girl through the weaving roads, and eventually finds a house amongst the fog. The house is on fire, and you hear a scream come from within it. So, the game starts with that, you enter the house and... Well, if you want to know PICK UP THE GAME!

Overall I'd give this one a 8/10. Sure it was a good game, it even brought back Pyramid Head. I have to admit though it was too easy. Strategy Guides and walkthroughs online labeled most of the bosses as "difficult", and for that reason I found myself saving a total of 15 times. The bosses were actually relatively easy. Even the final boss was a cinch, although I thought I was going to die because of the lack of ammo, but because this game allows you to use your fists (different than the others) you can attack when you are completely out of ammunition. It was also too short, when compared to the other Silent Hills. I wasn't dissapointed though. It still retains some of the same flavour as the other Silent Hill games. The puzzles were just as complicated, but they gave more hints on how to complete them. The game brings you to some new areas like a Theatre, a Sanitarium, and a Motel. But it brings back old places like the Achimilla Hospital.

I look forward to playing it again and again just to unlock everything that it has. One thing I don't get it as that it doesn't let you choose a difficulty. I would've looked forward to playing through it again on the Extreme Modes like Silent Hill 3. Hopefully though it does let you choose Hard, because when I think about it, the game was pretty easy.

Political Rant

2008-05-20T14:00:00.000-07:00

Everytime someone votes, they get their voice heard. Well, that's what the American people are told but I don't necessarily know if it is true or not. From what I have seen with the whole ordeal with not counting Florida and Michigan delegates in favour of Hillary Clinton is a sign that it's not true. Of course Barack Obama wasn't on the ballot in Michigan, well if the headchair, Howard Dean would pull his head out of his ass maybe Barack Obama could be in a new Michigan re-vote. Of course Barack Obama doesn't want them to count anyway. Why? Because he knows that if they do, Hillary Clinton will over throw him in Delegate count and popular vote.

Sure everytime that he says something, he's applauded and considered the next John F. Kennedy or whatever. Well, if that's true, can't someone tell me what his future would end up being?

In all case, the democratic process needs to be fixed. We need to rid the stupid caucuses and replace them with primaries that don't swing in favour of a single candidate. It would not only fix the problem that we are having with the voting, but make sense! What would also be good is having all of the contests on 1 single day! Then it'll all be over by the next day... Jeez, some people just need to think a little bit.

A whore, and I knew it!

2008-05-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

I found out a few days ago a fact, but I already knew it was true. My cousin, Jessica is a whore. Of course I knew this! My cousin Amanda (Jessica's Sister) got all pissed off at me for stating the truth, so far that she actually started punching me in the face! Apparently, Jessica cheats on her boyfriend with other guys, pulls "trains" and does other stuff. See? I knew she was a whore all along, and when I do say that it's true what happens? I get punched for it. Soon she'll be pregnant, and having 5 babies, but all of them from different daddies!

In case you don't know, I hate whores. Personally, I would like if it were legally possible to execute hookers, prostitutes and gutter sluts. I mean seriously, what are their point? They just screw around for money, but they are really worthless and don't deserve the life that they have. They obviously don't appreciate it, and when people that do matter tell them things they get all offended and say "I'm a human too! I make mistakes!" It's not mistake that they are whores!
My cousin Jessica is no exception. She's a fucking prostitute, whore-bag, gutter slut. Who probably sells herself for money, because she is worthless without life. It's kind of sad, because I used to be good friends with her. Until she moved and became the whore that she is today.

Jessica, the whore!

Don't let her charm and/or good looks fool you! It's all a facade!

Police, Heartattack, and You Know Who

2008-05-13T07:38:00.000-07:00

What a devastatingly interesting week I've had! On Saturday night I got pulled over by the cops. Talk about an experience. I was all nervous and stuff because I didn't have a license or anything. He told me that he pulled me over because I didn't have my lights on. (Something that I commonly forget to do.) Anyway, he ended up letting us go because my mom faked a low-blood sugar so I was lucky. What do they do to you if you're caught driving without a license? Do you go to jail?

So last week my Speech and Writing classes were cancelled. Well except for my writing class on Thursday, that wasn't cancelled. My professor had a heartattack like during the weekend before last week and couldn't come in because he had to do bypass surgery or something. I was pleased because I really didn't want to go to class and present my stupid speech! I know, it's morbid, but I'd rather not present it. I told myself with basically a week off I'd work on it and make it better but so far the only the thing that has improved is the idea of me doing it. I don't know if it's due today or not; I HOPE NOT!

Lately a certain person has been on my mind lately. Eh, I don't know if YOU KNOW but I'm sure someone does. Anyway, a lot of songs have been reminding of this person! It's weird, but I feel like I might never see them again. I do see them all the time on myspace, but that's only if they're logged in. Even so, I might leave a comment and not get anything back. I suppose that they're very busy with stuff, so I shouldn't pester. Sigh, I dream about them all the time though. Whenever I think about this person I get all warm and fuzzy. Could it be love? I don't know.

Islam - The Relgion of Hate

2008-05-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

For your viewing pleasure, here is a video on the hypocrisy that is Islam. All those who are Muslim, don't know what they are doing. They are in an evil religion that is bent on destroying the west, killing innocents, and taking over the planet with their evil.

It's all true about what that video states. Muslims need to open their eyes and see what they really are.

Madrid Subway Bombings

2008-05-05T14:49:00.000-07:00

I happened across this during my usual Youtube visits.. It's very sad; I know that there are people in the world who thought this couldn't touch them.. And that the United States was the only place that would've experiences this kind of thing, but we weren't. Many people in Spain probably thought that it sucks for us... Until this happened. I'm not saying they deserved it, because they didn't! No-one deserves what happened to them on that day. The same with us, why can't there be anyone in the world that will say, "Americans didn't deserve what happened on September 11"?

I admit that some people will, and those are good people. But it seems to me, that it actually takes something like this to happen to them before they actually try their best to help the problem.. It takes a tragedy before anyone realizes that they are not untouchable.

The video was extremely sad... You hear people suffering and screaming.. It will take your breath away, if you have a heart.. However, if you don't have the stomach, or don't care what happens to other countries besides your own, then don't watch!

PS: TERRORISTS SUCK

Canadian Movies in America, and Nintendo Wifi sucks!

2008-05-03T14:19:00.000-07:00

So I was shopping at my local conveniant store and saw an entire box of DVD's for sale. I decided that I would pick through them and see if I can find something that I'd probably like. With luck, I found 4 movies. After I bought them and was on my way home I noticed that it had Canadian ratings on them. I couldn't understand why this was, and I still don't. Why are movies that are supposed to be sold in Canada in the United States? I know that they work in the players here, but I just cannot understand why they are being sold here? Could the store I used be buying them from a Canadian company because they are cheaper? Hmm...

I was trying to connect to a friend on Nintendo Wifi over the past couple of days and I cannot. I gave them my friend code and everything and yet it fails. They don't show up, and I don't show up. I emailed Nintendo, but couldn't figure out the problem. So I deleted the wifi settings and got a new friend code. Hopefully this will work now, but I don't know what the problem is. It's getting very annoying, and I'm getting very angry!

PS. I emailed Nintendo Wii Support instead of Nintendo DS! Oops!

Ew, Stress

2008-04-29T13:57:00.000-07:00

It's as if going to college you must sign up for stress. It's all too confusing, and irratable. Right now I'm sitting at a computer and was registering for classes. I have to take a Biology class here, in my hometown, and for the lab I must drive out of state to Oregon! Why can't there be a lab here?! There's one for the stupid Chemistry class that I have to take, it doesn't make sense!

I'm researching scholarships right now as well. It's coming up with a whole lot of nothing. It seems to qualify for many scholarships, you need to have been involved in some sort of sport! I'm getting a headache! I have that stupid speech coming up, stupid scholarship search, and I have to find a permanent transportation to Ontario during the week in Fall!

Doing Speeches suck

2008-04-29T09:40:00.000-07:00

It's true, and you all know it! I have to give a speech today, and I'm not looking forward to it one bit. I can understand why a class like this would exist, but I don't see why we actually have to do speeches in order to understand why they are done. The speech I have to do is a memorization speech ( I chose a Poem), I'm a good way through it, in memorization, but I think that I might fail when I actually have to present it to the entire class. It's stupid, and I hate it. I'm also very tired, so I'm irratable anyway. If I'm still tired by the time 6pm Mountain Time rolls around, then I probably will have been F***** two ways from Friday!

Eh, I'll probably update this on how it went if I don't skip the class.

Two blogs in one day?

2008-04-22T16:30:00.000-07:00

Seriously there must be something wrong here right? Nope, I just feel really bored right now so I might as well write another one. Currently I'm sitting in my school's computer lab doing my "homework", waiting for my next class to begin. I'm very exhausted right now... I'm not even kidding. I feel like I might pass out over this computer and destroy it with my drool. It sucks that my next class is 3 hours long... GRRR! Well at least when I'm done with it, I won't have to take it again! :D However, it doesn't mean that my future classes won't be hard... I have to take like 7 math classes in order to get my associates degree... I guess that an Associate's of Arts in Psychology makes me a math genius when I'm done. How nice.

Right now it's 5:40 PM, I have my next class in only 20 minutes... *Groans*. I have to sit through it and listen to my instructor talk and/or read from our speech book. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that my Princess Diana Speech went well, although it was under the time I was supposed to get it. Our next speech is going to be on "Memorization", in which we have to memorize a poem, etc. I was thinking about doing one on guilt. I have 2 of them at home and it would make it far more conveniant to just use one of them instead of having to look all over the place for some. Right?

Well I had best get going! I like being pretty early to my classes so I had best get a move on.

PS: I'm hungry!

Attention Pokemon Nerds!

2008-04-22T14:34:00.000-07:00

I probably shouldn't have titled it that way, since I am one myself! Anyway, there is going to be an upcoming Darkrai Event for all US Toy's R Us stores! So if you haven't bought your Diamond/Pearl game, and have beaten it, I suggest you do it now!!!

Here's some info!

If that headline appeared nigh undecipherable to your uninitiated eyes, count yourself very, very lucky, and quickly move on to the next story. Those whose hearts and pokeballs perked up upon seeing that teasing title will be happy to know that the heretofore uncatchable Darkrai, of Pokemon Diamond and Pearl fame, will be made quite catchable come the weekend of May 31 - June 1, when participating Toys R' Us stores will digitally distribute the inn key required to reach said public enemy no. 491.Though it's been a year since the monster enslaving simulator was released, we're sure that the retailer will find themselves slammed by DS-wielding trainers-in-training over the course of that weekend. We doubt that the avarice of many a poketrainer has been slaked by the current digital menagerie -- as they march onward into adorable battle, do they shout, "Gotta Catch All But One or Two of Them?" No, their kind is inclined to catch them all, and then, in some terrifying cases, their shiny counterparts.

Sickness, and Homework

2008-04-12T12:14:00.000-07:00

Without a doubt, I believe that getting sick has to do with my laziness. Not laziness like laying around doing nothing, but laziness when it comes to my homework. I'm piled up with a TON of it, not even kidding. Most of it was assigned on Tuesday, but I'm starting to get on it now. I have a speech do on Tuesday along with a math assignment, and an English Composition Essay. Eh, talk about busy! For some people though, this isn't as busy as a lot of them really are.

I realise that I've actually been posting blogs now. It seems that I have much more to write about. Of course, if someone were to look at previous blogs, I wrote maybe 1 per month. I'm on a roll!!!

Hopefully I feel better before Monday, I have a quiz that day... Well hopefully I do, I can't think when I'm sick... It just doesn't work out.

Whoa, College!

2008-04-01T14:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my first day of college. I only had one class : Ethnic Studies. It wasn't as bad as I had originally assumed, but of course it was only one class. So far today, I have had 2 class, and I have 2 more left. Today I had Algebra, and Orientation to college. After I'm done writing this, I will going on to my English Composition class, and the follow to my Fundamentals of Speech. Eh, I can't complain, so far the experience is okay, and nothing bad has happened (Knock On Wood). I must say though that even the used books are expensive! Ek! I should apply for scholarships, wait, I have been... But it seems right when I go to get the apps it's already past the deadline! Dang, Guess I'll have to wait for awhile then.

So much time, so nothing new

2008-02-21T19:08:00.000-08:00

It has been forever since I've written. But it's always that way now it seems. I'm currently on a journey of self discovery but I usually keep those around me in the dark about my interior motives. They're are not homicidal! I realize that nowadays you have to ensure people or else they can get mixed messages and something that's totally not true. However, people are not always what they say they are... People are random... Before I totally go off the wagon and start complaining about people that I dislike, and what I dislike about them... I'll just change the subject to something a little less extreme and a little less awkward.

I'm sure whomever reads this could probably tell that I enjoy writing, and probably should get into something that could really help my writing improve. I originally wanted to be a journalist, but the college that I'll be attending doesn't offer it.. I had to go with my second choice which is Psychology. It has some certain writing aspect to it, but not as much as I would love. Eh, things don't turn out how you want them... But I don't believe that. People use that saying all the time when they can't get something they won't, but I won't give up. If it takes me 10 years to go to school for journalism then so be it.

Now unto music. Recently I have opened my mind to the new possibilities of varoius music. At first, when I started to like music, I retained only 3 bands : Evanescence, Avril Lavigne, and Garbage. Now, it's upto somewhere around 20 bands/artists. They usually retain around the genres of my first three bands/artists, because they are central to the my preferred tastes. There are exceptions though. Such as Fergie, or ABBA. Fergie as many know is more like a Pop/Hip Hop kind of ordeal. While ABBA is Europop/Disco.

I find that I really like ABBA's music. I know it's old, but not that old. Their first album was released like in the early 70's. I can't really explain one reason why I like them, because there is more than one reason. I can say though why I got into them in the first place. I was watching the TV show MADtv on youtube, it was a skit on one of my favourite characters "Miss Swan". She accidentally went to a gay bar and realized that she couldn't find someone to like her. Then music started coming on, and everyone began dancing. She went over to a bar stool and started singing "Dancing Queen". I didn't really like it because of how she sang it, so I looked it up on Napster. That's how I came across ABBA, and the song "Dancing Queen" started it all. Even now, I find that "Dancing Queen" is my favorite and always will be. It was also the first music video that I saw by them.

Now, onto my Language skills. I would say now that my linguistic skills have improved immensely. I can communicate rather comfortably in French, with some minor problems. Those problems in being not knowing some translations for vocabulary, and not knowing some verbs. I've got the grammar down, except with some very VERY difficult things. They are too complicated to even try to discuss. Anyway, I can write French now without having to think much about it. Many French acquintances tell me that it (French) has improved a lot. Spanish itself has too. I don't even study it, but I'm around speakers from Mexico and Guatemala all the time now. I listen their converstations with my mother and am able to catch onto what the conversation is about. I've been told by them that I have a very good accent when it comes to Spanish... Hmm, could it be natural? Well I do like Salsa and hot stuff.

Well here is my update that is very long overdue.

"Dig in the Dancing Queen!"

Through my own veins....

2007-11-16T11:55:00.000-08:00

The name of this entry may sound a little funky huh? Well it's supposed to. It's a line from the song by Evanescence called "The Last Song I'm Wasting on You". Which is a very beautiful song, talking about life, and how horrible relationships can turn out; then overcoming those issues and getting away from them. I recommend that you listen to that song, it's very beautiful. But then again, every single word that Amy Lee (of Evanescence) puts down is beautiful without a doubt.

You're probably wondering why I am writing about this song or of Amy Lee or even of Evanescence... It's because I'm going to go see them in the Quest Arena in Boise on November 20th! HELL YEAH! Finally my favorite singer in the entire world decides to come to IDAHO! I'm so overly excited I can't even explain what I'm going through... My friends Kira and Trevin bought me the ticket to go with them. Kira is a big Evanescence fan but I don't know about Trevin. Oh well! My older brother was supposed to get me the ticket but he won't get paid until TODAY! So with the money my brother will be giving me, I'll pay them back!

I sure do hope they give out free things at the concert, or I hope I'll get some money somehow! Cause' I'd love to buy a bunch of souvenirs to remember that the greatest band in the world came and I saw them!

An Open Book

2007-10-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

Hmm, it seems like it has been litterally months since I have last written on this thing. It's not that I haven't wanted to but more because I have to go to the Public Library in order to access the internet.. Anyway...

Today I am obviously at the Public Library now, I'm supposed to be searching for jobs, and staffing services... It's really really stupid.. I have to take this job class in Nampa every monday and friday until I manage to find a job. But before then I have to accomplish all of these things that the people want... Like the staffing, submitting 8 applications per week, and staying at the 3 hour classes learning things I already know. Talk about irrelevant eh?

But I can't really do anything until I find a stupid job and join the "Workforce".. I just don't like the idea of having to work because I find that using my own time to help benefit another person is no good at all... Can you believe that Mcdonalds wouldn't even hire me? I mean MCDONALDS! It's a lot harder than I really would've thought it to be, and I'm just thinking about dropping the class.. I don't care if I get "sactioned" really... It's my choice to be there.

Enough complaing...

End of The Road

2007-05-10T19:10:00.000-07:00

So graduation is coming up in a few weeks. Or merely just about 12 days. I had always believed I would never see this day come, nor would I experience it. People always told me that the final year in High School just flies by; I never beleived that. But now, I do. I'm perfectly on track, and I could even fail my chemistry class and still graduate ( as it is an elective class..). Currently, in Chemistry, we are doing a sort of "Final Project", which is absolutely ridiculous. I hate it. But, we're almost finished, so why should I be complaining? Because we have to present it to the entire class. I hate presenting, and having to speak in front of everyone. Especially people in the Junior class.. They are such idiots, except a certain few.. But the ones that are dumb are the kind of people who would laugh at you if you were to be getting beat up...

A good thing about this year coming to an end is the yearbook. I hope to have all my friends sign it. A bad thing though it that Daniela has to go back to Germany soon.. And I will really miss her, she and I became good friends through the course of the year. But, I'm sure we'll still talk through Email and Myspace; it's just that it won't be the same.. The other exchange students I don't think I'll miss that much. Except Moa... But the others I didn't really get to know, or I just don't like.. There is going to be a party for the International Club this Friday and I won't be going because it's at the house of the Ukraine kid which in particular, I just don't like that much. (I should delete him from my Myspace?)...

Well, In short Graduation is coming up. New memories will be made, old ones will be put away.. New friends will become good friends and I sitll need to plan out my future!

Always New

2006-12-05T17:05:00.000-08:00

I'm very happy. Or content I should say as that seems to be more explanatory than happy. Anyway, since I had previously been unable to pay for my trip to France in the spring, some of my teachers had gotten together and payed for the ticket. I think it was very kind of them. School isn't as hard as I had explained of the first week. It's improved, and much more easier than ever. Chemistry is still the most ridiculus class I have to take. All of my classes except Chemistry are great, Economics is going nice even Government.
Since I have been in Government class, we have been learning of the Constitution. I liked it so much that I downloaded a PDF form, I know, nerdy.. But it's actually a really good read. It's hard to believe that a group of men wrote something so great, and it's still in use even today!
I'm actually in some clubs this year unlike last year. I'm in Recycling, French and the International Club; where I get to design the T-shirt. No one else came up with a design, and everyone liked it. I'm beginning soon, I just needed to get a tutorial so I could adjust some images in Photoshop.
I've made some new friends this year; which should be no surprise at all for anyone. We have a foreign exchange student from Germany, and she's really cool. She invited me to join the International Club; the idea of the club was mainly from the students in the exchange. She's (Daniela) is teaching me some simple German phrases, like "Clock" or "Television". She's also really funny, she does have an attiude but she only gets it if she is really irratated.
French class is going good too. We're covering a lot of stuff that is going to obviously be useful. I really need to come up with some more sentences for that class soon. We have to tell our teacher a certain amount of sentences each semester for a grade; not really hard, but hard to come up with the sentences.
There is so much more I want to write about, but I think I would be digging a little deep, and exposing myself a little, but maybe I should save the rest for my Myspace blog...

Evil Bible....

2006-09-04T19:30:00.000-07:00

I know that many Christians pride themselves for being "saved" from hell.. But, recently I found a website which closely analyzes the things within it's pages. Not all what's in it is good, there are many references to Rape, Murder, and Sacrificing. People say that God is merciful, and helpful. But, what kind of God tells a man to sacrifice his own daughter to keep her from losing her virginity? Or about how he told a man to sacrifice his son upon a mountain? God even told the man to lie to his son, and get him to help build the place of which he would be killed. For example there is this quote which is found in the book of Genesis:

"Take your son, your only son-yes, Isaac, whom you love so much- and go to the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offerening on one of the mountains, which I will point out to you."(Genesis 22:1-18)

It seems kind of fishy doesn't it? I thought that God was a kind, and loving being, but to have read this, it is kind of messed up actually. Some of my close friends are Christians, or Mormons, or off of a branch of Christianity. I couldn't believe it, and then I kept reading on the website, and found things that referred to Rape, Murder, and Slavery! A book of piece?? It's more like the Satanic Bible!

When I was going into the one tab labeled "Rape in the Bible", I found this one:As you approach a town to attack it, first offer its people terms for peace. If they accept your terms and open the gates to you, then all the people inside will serve you in forced labor. But if they refuse to make peace and prepare to fight, you must attack the town. When the LORD your God hands it over to you, kill every man in the town. But you may keep for yourselves all the women, children, livestock, and other plunder. You may enjoy the spoils of your enemies that the LORD your God has given you.(Deuteronomy 20:10-14)

This one speaks of Murder, deception, and Slavery! It tells of God telling whoever is doing the deed to lie to all those people, and take it over. Use the people for slaves, and kill all the men there. God also approves to the people to keep the women, children and livestock.. So basically doing another sin against God, Stealing...

And this one on Rape: (Judges 21:10-24 NLT)

The Israelite assembly sent a peace delegation to the little remnant of Benjamin who were living at the rock of Rimmon. Then the men of Benjamin returned to their homes, and the four hundred women of Jabesh-gilead who were spared were given to them as wives. But there were not enough women for all of them. The people felt sorry for Benjamin because the LORD had left this gap in the tribes of Israel. So the Israelite leaders asked, "How can we find wives for the few who remain, since all the women of the tribe of Benjamin are dead? There must be heirs for the survivors so that an entire tribe of Israel will not be lost forever. But we cannot give them our own daughters in marriage because we have sworn with a solemn oath that anyone who does this will fall under God's curse."

Then they thought of the annual festival of the LORD held in Shiloh, between Lebonah and Bethel, along the east side of the road that goes from Bethel to Shechem. They told the men of Benjamin who still needed wives, "Go and hide in the vineyards. When the women of Shiloh come out for their dances, rush out from the vineyards, and each of you can take one of them home to be your wife! And when their fathers and brothers come to us in protest, we will tell them, 'Please be understanding. Let them have your daughters, for we didn't find enough wives for them when we destroyed Jabesh-gilead. And you are not guilty of breaking the vow since you did not give your daughters in marriage to them.'" So the men of Benjamin did as they were told. They kidnapped the women who took part in the celebration and carried them off to the land of their own inheritance. Then they rebuilt their towns and lived in them. So the assembly of Israel departed by tribes and families, and they returned to their own homes.

This is all kind of sick to me. No wonder I am smart and don't have a religion... It's all full of such treachery, false modesty, lies, and deception. It all seems to be apart a much larger conspiracy, one that needs to blown wide open.

Such Tired Times

2006-09-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple of days I have been in school. It started like 5 days ago, and I hoped it would be fun. But, it's not. It is the hardest year of school I have ever had in my entire school career. Firstly, Government is very difficult, anyone who says that it is easy deserves to be bitch slapped. I thought it would be easy as long as I do the work, and I have been. However, my teacher thinks it's very funny to give us 4 assignments to do, they're all do on seperate days, but they aren't that easy. 2 of them were ok, but the other two weren't. I still need to finish my stupid Scavenger Hunt...
I have always hated Science, and everything associated with this subject. I'm taking Chemistry, and I hate it. I just wish the entire section would just collapse, and end my worries. Honestly, I thought Chemistry was a subject where you utilise your knowledge of chemicals? Why must we learn to convert Gallons to liters, Inches to miles? It has nothing to do with science, what the hell are people taking? I only have this class so I can go to college, but I really don't think I want to that much anymore. I have to pass all my classes now in order to go anyhow. I'm required to community service for my Government class, yeah, right when I have enough to worry about, talk about stupid.
My French class is the best one, we do work, but it's the work that I really enjoy doing. I love the French Language, and everything associated with it. I'm in the Advanced class, so I don't need to hide my extensive knowledge over a third year. I do need to work on the past tense, but not by much. I don't understand the elements of use, it's very different than that of English. I also have trouble with the subjunctive, it's much more harder than the English subjunctive by far. The French subjunctive is only used in a sense of doubt, worry, etc in the speakers mind at the time. I was told on Monday, that I get to go to France with the class, and I'm pretty happy about that. I just need to get a job, so my Mom doesn't have to pay all of it. Plus, I would like to have extra money to spend, and buy souvenirs, and also anything I might need or want.
The first week of school was difficult, even English class is hard! God, I know all of the English language already even the subjunctive!(ex. It's imporant that I be there) or maybe it's because it's the language that I grew up knowing. We have to read our books, and right down a daily log on it, damnit, I just remebered that I need to do read a few chapters today! I also have to finish my freaking Chemistry labs(2 in 2 days!).

Mon Anniversaire

2006-08-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

My Birthday was great today. Though, It was dull at first since I couldn't find anything for us to do. Kira, Nalani, Kira's Boyfriend, Jake, and Aaron all came over. As with many family members. I got Silent Hill about 3 hours before everyone started to arrive. When they came, I put in the remake of Carrie, since Kira hasn't seen the movies but, she did read the book. We all watched that, it was great! Except for the excessive groping fest that Kira's boyfriend kept doing.
After the movie, everyone began to come. We had pizza, and cake, which was put away quite well. Kira gave me the gift that she got for me. She's really cool, she got me the first book of the series that she reads. I must say, they are a really good series. It has zombies, vampires and the works. She also gave me a card and some money. Her cousin, Nalani, gave me half a pound of chocolate.. I thought it all went very well, and I was very happy that all of my friends managed to show, except for like 3. I do have more friends, but I have like no way of contacting them....
After all my friends left, I watched Silent Hill again. I think it's the best ever adaption of game series ever made. Tomb Raider, and Resident Evil didn't follow many elements of the game. I heard a third one is in the making, I really hope not...

Nazi Epidemic..

2006-08-20T01:35:00.000-07:00

As you all know, I love France. Well, hopefully you know that. But, I feel like I really need to touch base with the actual point of it. Nazis, I'm sure weren't all bad people. Of course their leader, Hitler was bad. I read somewhere that he was abused, so that's why he did all that. Though, I'm not sure it's entirely accurate, but I think it may have happened. Anyway, It really makes you wonder why he did all of that. Perhaps he just really hated so many people, and felt that he needed to take over all the countries, and make everyone suffer. But, maybe he was just very depressed? And needed someone to hold onto? I hear he had a wife or girlfriend, but what if she wasn't enough? Maybe, he needed the love of a family, his mother! I don't think he had a good relationship with her, and perhaps she wasn't exactly the kind of mother he wanted her to be?

Though most of my thinking is probably out of wack, I just started to think of this when i found a picture of him in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France. It could be many reasons, but why did he feel like he needed to do all that? I know a lot of his followers probably didn't all feel the same, and they felt it was wrong, but they didn't want to get hurt, or killed for saying what they wanted. I remember in History, when the French and the Germans were at war for invading France, while in this underground cave, a French soldier, and a German soldier became friends. I know it sounds weird, but they celebrated Christmas together, though they were speaking through a hole, and sharing food, and drinks.. It was pretty amazing I bet, hopefully they ended up friends afterwards, and not enemies. I actually hope they didn't end up killing eachother, since they didn't know what either of them looked like.

Many people believe that France are nothing but cowards. They aren't, they are all good people, and everyone needs to understand that. I know that not all Germans are the same, and that there are some really nice ones. People have the assumption that all the French are snobby, and irrogant. Another biased opinion, in all countries there are the nice, and snobby, and rude people. They are everywhere not just in France, they exist even in the nicest cultures, some people need to open their eyes and actually take a look around. I know, that my dislike towards Germans is decreasing, but I swear that if they ever do that again, well, let's just not go there....

I was being very random with today's blog, but I really needed to get it out there, what I was thinking..

Faire, to do..

2006-08-18T21:52:00.000-07:00

I feel abnormal now. Not technically bad, but just not myself. Like i've been asleep, but I'm awake, I'm sure you know the feeling. It's in the evening now, and I'm pretty bored. I'm currently talking to some friends on the internet, which is helping with my boredom.. I realized today that in 4 days, I will be 17.... It's strange, though I knew the day was coming, I cannot believe that I'm actually going to be able to see rated R movies by myself! I think it's cool, no more need for an adult, because I'm basically one when it comes to rated R and rated M games.
Silent Hill the movie comes out to DVD on my birthday. I've seen it twice in theatres, it's a really great movie, it wasn't that scary, but it had a great storyline. I think that it beats all movies based on games, since, it actually follows the storyline. Unlike Resident Evil, that movie just sucked. It wasn't even close to the games, I mean who the hell is Alice? Before I get started on how stupid that movie was, I'm just going to change the subject.
So, by now, you're wondering what's up with the title? To be truthful, I really didn't know what to label it, so i just started to think with French words, so I came up with "faire" which means: to do, to make. Also, I wanted to touch base with why in the US and England do we have those Faires with the knights and stuff? What exactly are we making? I'm very grateful to the French for helping with the English Language, but I don't know why we had to pull out random French words that are used to where they make no sense. In French "Douche" is shower, so why do people go around calling people "Douche Bags?" ooh, they are a shower bag... BIG deal... Some people are a little too dumb...
I got a Physics book today; I figured that if I'm taking Chemistry once school begins, why not teach myself Physics? I think it'd help me more with Chemistry, as they are similar, though not exactly the same. Plus, I enjoy the math. I can't take math this year because my classes are all too full, I'd take it zero hour, but I have no ride. Perhaps I should've got my license? Hmm, so I know that I have first lunch, hopefully with my friends. I do hate being a loner, like this once kid that had no friends, and he'd talk to his potato... I was like WTF? We started calling him the "Potato Whisperer" my friends actually came up with a storyline for a movie, very amusing.
I also renewed my French learning book, I'm so glad for me finally being able to take another French class. While talking to one of my friends who lives in France, she told me she's been studying English for 6 years! I was like dang, (she wasn't fluent yet) if I studied for 6 years, will I be fluent or partially there? I don't want it to take that long, because I hope to learn like 5 languages. Russian, Spanish, French, Czech, and Dutch, they are all cool languages, but I'm sure that I'll change my mind with Dutch and keep alternating it with another language, so I might end up learning it anyway. I hope to know as many languages as possible; all the languages have things that are unlocked when you learn it. You can read the Literature, history, and share stories with native speakers. I think it'd be good to be able to speak fluently in other languages, I hear you can make a lot of money as a Translator... I couldn't spell the real name of it, Interpreter? Is that it?

String Cheese!

2006-08-15T20:23:00.000-07:00

I'm full. I've never eaten so much cheese in my life. String cheese for some reason really hits the spot, though I'm very sure that I'll regret it later on. I am finally registered for school. I actually have been since yesterday, but I was too lazy to post anything about it. I have all the classes that I want, Including Chemistry. I don't really like science, but in order for me to get into college, I need to have at least 6 credits for science. Hopefully, I pass because if I don't, then I'm screwed. I'll be held back, which I really don't want.
I must say, since my grandmother has come to stay with us for awhile, I've been even more stressed than normal. I see why my cousin Roseanna can't stand staying around her too long. She makes a big deal about a lot of very little things, I heard that us Leos were loud, but I didn't believe it until she began to stay with us. Don't get me wrong, I love my grandmother, but sometimes I just can't take too much. A few days ago, me and her walked to the store, she has bad legs, and barely made it there and back. Then today, I was telling her she shouldn't go because of that, and she went anyway. Then she came back complaing how much she was hurting, talk about saying, "I told you so"..
Earlier today, I played Command And Conquer and listened to music. The game is starting to get very boring now. I've beaten too many times, I think that they should come out with a new one soon. I've beaten almost all the games that I have, except for P.N.03, which got boring after the third level.
I can't wait for school to start now, then I will have something to do. For some reason I have alway enjoyed school, I like French more, so I that's what I am really looking forward too, my french needs brushed up, or polished more likely. I've been studying at home, but I think that for me to learn I require assignments. I think that I have progressed quite quickly than some others in my class.
I was on youtube, and searching for videos, I came across some old madtv episodes with Miss Swan in them. I think she is by far my favorite character in that show, though if she existed in real life, I'd probably killed her by now...

Talk about randomness with today's blog.